cigarette ash burns into my skin
an exposé of the number of times
i've ****** something up
    one for some beer
    one for some ***
    one for trying to take the only life i've got
    one for sneaking out
    one for the bag i packed
    another for all the traits that I lack
my lungs are already a graveyard
i must heave to welcome oxygen
but i don't think i care anymore
dust has made its home in my airways
and the embers on skin is my destructive healing
bit by bit, burn by burn
I write an apology letter across my flesh
but i fear i do not have enough surface area
maybe one day, my skin will be nothing
but a sheet of burns and blisters
and those around me won't be able
     to stand the sight of me