I wake up every day with heavy eyes
and a weight on my chest and shoulders that
bruises and compresses every fraction
of my fragile being

I can not for the life of me remember
the last time I woke up eager to
to soak in the shine of the sun or
bask in the presence of someone I love

My misunderstanding of the world
finally led me to a place where there is no
way back home, and nothing but
broken promises
compulsive lies
drug busts
packie runs
and endless yelling
fleeting
shaking
panicking
drinking
numbing
is left to fill the space.