Dear Mom and Dad,
I just wanted to say

Thank you,
for keeping me safe.
I'm sorry for being ungrateful.
I'm sorry for being arrogant,
or mean.

I'm not, and I know.
I was just quiet, alone in my world
during my hardest times.
You thought i was trying to be
"cool"
"chic"
and "grownup".

I was not.
I was merely thinking to myself,
about the things I experienced.
You never knew my story,

nor did I tell you.
If you made an effort to understand me,
or,
to open up just the slightest bit,

I would've told you.

Instead, you chose to view me as you wished.
And I became that image for you,

because it is easier to meet one's expectations
more than to exceed expectations.

I became what you thought I was.

I love you,
were the words I never got to say.
You viewed me as cold,
heartless,
and phlegmatic-

and I became all those things.
To keep up with my image,
to keep your expectations low,

I did what you expected of me.

But i still am grateful.

You may have never listened to me.
You were never there to give me advice
or give me warning.
You never shared the pain with me.

You made it harder for me,
for making it believe that I was cold, mean, egotistical,
and all those nasty things-
but-

you only made it harder.
just remember that.

I may have learned,
but I still hurt.

I just wanted to say,
just in case I don't stick around to tell you in person.