Sometimes I wish you understood me
Not like, hey, agree with me and let me do my own thing
But like, really understood me
How broken I am.
I'm so broken.
I can't tell you how scared you would be
How fast and far you would run
If you truly had an inkling,
A tip of the iceberg,
Of the manic depression that I experience every day
Alone,
And how much it shocks me
And how much I realize, again,
I am so. Messed. Up.
It's weird, being a nursing student
And knowing clinically EXACTLY
What is wrong with you and why
But you've hidden it from the world so long
Locked it up inside and thrown away the key
So that no one you know could possibly open
And look inside, and understand
And still love you for the sunbeams that you hold your hands open to
In your daily search for warmth,
Curling up in the shade of a tree like a cat
Just hoping for hope.