The neighbors party is kind of boring
Banal chit chat everywhere.
The price of houses and baked beans.
Then all changes in a single moment.
I feel her standing next to me.
That perfume her laugh I turn to face her.
Stunning and sweet as she always was.
Her smile cuts my heart open
like a knife.
I tried to get over her but.
I knew ..I knew.
Hi how are you she whispers.
I hope she cannot tell I am lying.
As I tell her I am fine and make up
some recent accomplishments.
They are just defensive untruths.
My mind is on her figure
Her lips her hair.
The last time we made love.
I might as well be speaking
In a foreign language.
Words falling like snowflakes
Randomly In the wind.
I ask her how she has been
She frowns lightly.
There’s a hole in my life she said.
I fill up our glasses with wine.
Hope raising in my heart
like the wine filling my glass.
She tells a few happy stories.
It’s weekend and a party
happy is a prerequisite.
We drink the wine quickly
To fill our inner emptiness.
And suddenly its midnight
I hold her coat for her she slips
her arms into the sleeves.
Like we have done a thousand
times before.
I spin her to me we kiss passionately.
I remember her and the hurt
That is  frozen around my heart melts.
She comes back to my flat
We make love the trapped
tears fall inside my eyes.
Then the warmth of her
floods my soul I am bipolar now.
Feeling over the moon.
Swimming in a massive high.
I should have stayed on an
emotional carousel not jumped
onto the roller coaster.
I can’t hold it back
then I go spoil it all.
“I love you honey”
“So much
Please come back to me.”
She stiffened slightly in my arms.
The moment was lost.
“We will see she whispers.”
The house is silent when I awaken
to the soft click of my door closing.
Her side of my bed is still warm.
I know my half healed heart
will reopen the cuts she left before.
And I would bleed
like I did when she first left me.