Life has this funny effect on people, you’re whole life is made up of other people's opinions and thoughts not your own. After awhile you start to realize that your life is not your own, other people depend on you and need you. So if you go and decide to do something stupid like smoke and it ends up going down hill it's not just you who gets hurt. What if you had died, your life is not your own you can't just go around throwing your life away, people look up to you and expect certain things from you. You can't just do something stupid and risk your own life, it’s not your life to risk. You could've died that day in the ambulance, you overdosed and almost died. Yet it doesn't seem to faze you but at the same time it took something from you, you haven't been the same since. I try so hard to get you back to your regular self, but ever since that night you went into a shell I have yet to break you from. It’s not a game when you almost die, you overdose on the lies that you were told. Trust is something you have lost, life is confusing and you’re scared. Scared and terrified on the side of the street you had to call your own ambulance, left alone to die by the ******* who did this. Now he’s in jail, yet you're still the one suffering. How is any of this fair, simple it’s not. Life completely ******* you over, that much is pretty obvious but you have to fight back. You have every right to be who you were before all of this happened, yet you can't overcome the pain and fear of what has happened. What you don’t understand is, you’re so much stronger than you think. People look up to and count on you because they know they can rely on you. You’re heart is full of passion and love for the others around you and the funny things is you don't even seem to see that. Life has a funny way of working out for people, sometimes you have to fall before you fly. I think you’re just starting to figure this out and you’re having a hard time adjusting, its understandable. You're still going through withdrawal and that's a very scary process, but I know you can get through it.