i have fallen so hard
i have hit rock bottom
i have been on a spiral that takes me only downwards
i have been invisible, for as long as i can remember
i have isolated my soul
i have tried to let myself give up
i have stayed six-feet underground, mentally
i have been choked with despair
i have been swallowed by nerves
i have been consumed by fear, my mind and body withering
i have been torn into pieces, paper thin
i have been ripped off my opinion, my bones crying to be heard
i have been broken down into tiny fragments, each embedded on paper
i have left my thoughts everywhere;
in people, in books, in songs, in journals, in the rain,

but here i am-
i am on my way upwards
i am collecting the bits and pieces, i will not try to connect them
i am carving my path towards my dreams
i am being heard, i am a voice worth listening to
i am a part of someone
i am a part of something
i am growing
i am accepting
i am learning

my mind will be reborn, my body and soul surrendered to faith
my thoughts untangled, my feelings splattered like paint
my spirit is no longer blank-
*i am no longer a hole, i am whole.