when you fall in love with a feeling,
you are falling in love with the accompanying thought of being in love with it.
grains of dirt in the cracks of Marin
a man whose hands filled every space that your husband always touched but you never felt
reminiscing on granules of powder with a head space that always told you what you had would never be enough
and it only showed you the true strength of what you believed, not the truth behind it
she told me that the void which we are trying to fill is the empty space left over from instant gratification for an over-stimulated mind
      nothing
and we're trying to be deep but it's just feeble attempts at filling our own deprived space,
because we think we're getting high off anti-anxiety pills when really we're just feeling how a "properly functioning" human does.
"we're all just human, honey. we're all just trying to make ourselves feel good. just remember, with each high comes an even worse low. i know you feel everything and nothing and you're just trying to subside it. we're only human."
and you're just falling in love with the strength of the belief.
not the truth behind it.