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Sep 2015
I am told to take this one day at a time.

I cannot tell you how many times IΒ have head that saying.

One day at a time,
One day at a time,
One day at a time.

It repeats over and over again in my mind.

One day at a time.
One day at a time

Yet, in my reality, it is
every seven minutes
then every tenΒ minutes.

Every seven minutes, for m, feels like three hours,
during those seven minutes, i crave,
I crave to be drunk
I crave to be so high, I cannot tell left from right
I crave to smile like a child,Β 
I crave to laugh like there is no tomorrow
I crave to feel confident
I crave to make these shakes disappear for awhile.

Then every ten minute I feel normal.
I don't feel so outlandish for not drinking a beer.
I don't miss the taste of a cigarette,
after swallowing a shot or two.
I don't yearn for a drunken lullaby,
As time passes by.

Every seven then ten minutes
I'm switching opposite sides
Back and forth
inside my deranged mind
handling it the best I can

One day at a time
Staying sober is really strange for those of us how have a problem.
Amber Rae McNeilan
Written by
Amber Rae McNeilan  here and there
(here and there)   
418
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