I can only pray
that my patience
would never reach
it's peak
for as a man
who can only
take as much
as a human can
I'm almost at
threshold

I always believed
that I'm not allowed
to say a single rant
for there are things greater
than what I can imagine
I'm told that
I can't complain
I can't frown
I can't wonder
for that's what it means
to be selfless..
yet I still ponder

My mother always told me
"just be a little more patient"
how can I be, when
father always tells me
"YOU ARE NOT THINKING"
"ARE YOU BLIND!?"

I'm sorry, father
if I'm not up to the test
but know that
I follow every word
ever sentence for the best
For every spare moment
I had, I have given it to you
I did promise that
I would take care of you
be your "right" side
as I termed it

I'm sorry if
I have no idea
what the heck you're pointing at
whenever you want me to get
something for you
I'm sorry if
I have no idea
what you want to say and if I don't know
what you're thinking
I'm sorry if
I'm not the smartest guy you'll ever meet
cause I might never fully understand
what you really want from me

But please, Dad.. tell me
is it worth it to tell me
"YOU DON'T CARE"
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND"

I understand fully that your time on earth
runs by the shorter years, but please dad
please... your words hurt me more
than every beating that you have given me

I do understand that you want me to grow
but it always hurts me more
that you're willing to let go..

Dad, I'm almost at threshold