"How are you feeling right now?"
You were looking at me with your dorky smile
and then something shifted.
You immediately took a deep breath and
you looked at me with a seriousness in your eyes that
I'm not sure I could ever possibly explain.
"I...I feel...weird."
I looked at you, slightly confused. I cocked my head
to the side and I wondered, "Is it a good or bad weird?"
It was almost like you could hear my thoughts...
Or maybe you just read my ****** expression.
"No no no, it's not a bad kind of weird. It's really good, I think. It's just...strange."
I still looked at you in awe, wondering how whatever you were feeling could be strange.
"Rachel, can I say something?"
Of course you can, you always can.
"I've never felt this before. Whatever this feeling is, I've never known it."
You looked at me with your eyes staring at what little of myself is left inside of me, and we both waited for one of us to respond.
I stopped smiling and I just took all of you in.
I watched as your eyes watched me and I
wished I could've had you near me so you could say this right
in front of my face instead of over FaceTime.
"What?"
"I just really appreciate you, okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay."
"******, not again."
"Okay."
"Okay. Will we do this every time we're about to say something serious about one another?"
I paused and hid my smile from you, because you had told me earlier how sweet it was when I did that.
"I guess so."
"Maybe we'll say it one day?"
"Maybe."
"Maybe?"
"Yes, maybe."