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JS Jun 2018
I'm not as free
as I wish I could be,
since enslaved to my mind
Its been about 31 years of captivity.

Where there lingers
and greed,
which often lead
to other darker things
as I parlay with insanity and foreign dreams.

I'm trying not to be vanity
but I'm what it means,
through growing up without
and wanting things.

Though I've learned
the world’s been out of my control
proven through all I've seen.

So here I sit trying to poke a hole
exposing me,
losing myself
to you
through sincerity,
since I know
very well
that I am
my own
I hardly hear what anyone says since I'm in my head and the war is to no end
JS Jun 2018
She goes through introspective prayer
yet holds me heavy in her heart . . .  
or do I picture this because she blew it from the start.

How can I sincerely forgive her with time,
in this crazy world where it's me I can't find,
instead I find she’s just like every other lying girl  I’ve left behind.

So even if I let her go,
the time has passed with no console
as I sit so far below
in the dim lighted life I show.

Remorse to what?
This is all I know,
falling in love with a girl that’s trying to take control
but I’ve seen this all before,
for I am what was planted
and this has been my growth.

From the bellows of the snow
I grew a strange ill figured rose
she’s come to love because of all my prose.

I grew reaching
for all the gifts,
that with time
always trying to reach
for all that's gold
or close to the color sunny glow.  

Yet at times I’m  withered to find
that no one knows the torment
of growing alone yet so bold.

So I feel it’s so strange
she thought she had a hold
of a feeble mind
she somehow thought
she could control.

Little does she know
I’m an old soul
and life speaks to me,
we’re a constant of human nature
that vibe through life
on different  frequencies.

Though the  explanations of it
I honestly don't know
but somehow I move
like a consistent flow.

It seems like my surroundings
just grow and grow,
trying to swallow me whole,
all the while I’m running fast for life
but at the same time I try to take life slow.-JS
If I slow my roll will I eventually overthrow the destructive self whom is in control of  a human who has grown so oddly fond of the unknown
JS Sep 2015
She evoked a pause,
a pause in my day as everything around her froze,
a pause in my thoughts . . .  therefore a pause in my note . . .
A pause in my breath,
as she aimlessly floats,
in her beautiful way so gracefully slow,
through the time she is sown in my beautiful note . . .
For this pause I will never know to exist as so brief and so slow,
as if in all of  her glow I feel lost and so,
this moment's etched to forever show,
the beautiful pause evoked . . .
that's left by her . . . left in my lovely notes.-JS
Heart skipped a beat while in my seat its her I see as I pause from my sheet
JS Sep 2015
Orange shaded lamp that's lit at 1 am, in the city of the angels where the homeless seem to live.
The tents are growing plenty as the poverties commence,
there's a *** for every bottle sitting in a city full of bins.

For every sin there's a bump, for every bar a new actress,
in some conversation is a liar hidden behind a foreign thick accent.
Someone hired, someone fired, by the beach are many lost kids,
some are tired, some are wired, most don't know that they exist.

Picture perfect life instead that is wanted by the masses.
All prone to life that's close to **** cause no one likes to give up chances.-JS
Random chances for advances are held ransom to circumstances
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