Dear Ex, The First,

I haven't spoken to you since the day I cut you off from me
Occasionally I have wanted to, but to do so would only dredge up darkness.
So all I wish to say will be here, in case you ever find it.

Hi.
I'm sorry it's been years.
I wanted to say you were right.
Right about a lot of things.
You once told me I'd grow up to be ***-crazed and wild.
Well I was, for a while,
But not for the reasons you thought.
Once for love,
Thrice just to not be alone.
You said you never forget your first love.
Well I haven't forgotten.
I've ignored, and I know I don't love you like I did,
But I've never forgotten.
You said I would stop believing in God.
I did for a while,
But not the way you expected.
I believed He existed,
But, for a while,
Did not believe in Mercy or Justice.
I found them again
Turns out they were just lost, not dead.
You said that you and Jacqueline were together
And that she didn't like me talking to you
That's part of why I never spoke to you years later.
I sometimes wonder if you got married.
I sometimes wonder if you still remember me
Or think of me.
Remember that poem I wrote the day I went away?
The House on Morris Street?
I think you misunderstood what it meant.
You were angry and hurt.
I don't think you understood
I burned down the House on Morris Street
Because I couldn't bear to watch it rot away
As you and I both knew it would one day.
I still look you up sometimes
Just to make sure you're still OK.
If you wanted to say something to me
I wouldn't ignore you
But if you didn't
I wouldn't blame you.
Just please be alive
And please be happy
I recall much more happiness you gave me
Despite the sadness in your soul.

Sincerely,
The Little Paladin