My liver is getting strangled by my intestines
My stomach is eating holes out of itself
And I'm sitting here in dumbfounded stillness
Wondering
"What's next?"

It's all still here
It's been waiting for me
Since I left it here in anger
This maze of wrong turns and traps
Of mistakes and misdirection

And still
I am no better at solving these puzzles
Than I was months ago.
The uncertainties and anxieties
The mysteries and the caution
Still hiding in the paint on the walls
Hanging on the hinges
Blowing in the sea -wind
They haunt me
Keep me company
Follow me.

Someday it will end,
Inevitable, I was told.

Even then,
Even when all is done and finished
Will I still think of you?


Will you still think of me?