Jack and Jill went up the hill This was never in dispute It was how Jack fell down With severe lacerations to his crown That the jury had to conclude Jill had a bun in the oven The news was all over town The bakers wife was aghast Her husband and his shady past He liked a cream **** Though, when cautioned down the red light district Cream was never mentioned in the Constables statement Back to that ill fated day on the hill Jill says Jack was going down, on her He was certainly on the edge A couple walking their dog, state the baker was on the ledge This was later dismissed when the couple admitted they didn’t have a dog This was light relief for the jury in this sorry affair Mrs Black didn’t turn up to church on Sunday The stand in vicar didn’t know this, being new All hell broke loose as the witness swore Jill gave birth on the floor A black child appeared There was uproar The baker shouted to his wife, with a frown Three women stood up So he sat down They all turned to the bench The Judge was holding his gavel Somewhat in despair Dna later found traces of poor Jacks hair The Judge was taken down, mumbling She said she was on the pill, Jill That was the end of this sorry tale Though, the papers ran amok Mondays headline read Jack and Jill went up the hill, with the folks of Trill for an **** and thrill But things got out of hand The Judge saw red, and whacked Jack dead And they all came tumbling after.