White was never my color of choice
But it never felt wrong
Though I don’t believe like others
This color now feels out of place on me
Soiled some would call me
Unholy others would
But I don’t see it like that
Why would I let someone touch me
If not for the bettering of myself
I shed that old title others gave me
The one others forcefully took from me
But I had held on to it
Like it would somehow bring me peace
Knowing I was still a ****** in my mind
But I left that titled behind
I let someone else take my title by choice
Though not who I expected
I barely know him
And each time I think of that night
My skin grows hot
But not with the sensations of his touch
Only of the embarrassment coursing through me
No, it wasn’t bad
Yes, I enjoyed it
But why is it so hard for me to think of it?
Twice now I have made memories
That haunt me
One in unspeakable ways
The other in unmentionable ways
But all I know is that I am no longer that title
By choice this time