I have spent far too long scavenging for the little quirks of myself that he could learn to love
Suddenly, I'm 19, begging my mother to tell me how special I am
I beg her to tell me I'm beautiful, but hearing her say it reminds me of him, before he left
I pleaded her to get him to come back, to come home
After all, parents can do anything, right?
But she didn't get him to come back, she didn't even try
She assured me he was undeserving of my heart,
but that went in one ear and out the other
I remember collapsing to the ground
and banging my fists upon the floor
All while screaming out, hating the universe for allowing our souls to depart ways
Then, I buried all the love in me
I pronounced it dead, lifeless, gone
I put my love on a shelf