How has this occurred?
I have become such an oddity
Those who call themselves near to me
Are unable to comprehend

When things first started with us
They told me that I should leave
After we started to fight
They stopped listening to me

Now almost two years later
I finally have ended everything
That is all that they care to hear
That they won’t hear of you again

What they don’t understand
Is that you are still on my mind
We had a lot
Your were many things to me
Girlfriend
Best Friend

You were the one that I called
Everytime the world came crashing down
No one else seemed to care
Had no idea what to say

Now everything has ended
And I don’t know who to turn to
When memories of you
Make my vision blur
My head spin
My heart ache so painfully
That all I want to do
Is dial your number
With shaking fingers
Ones that have dialed you
Too many times

When you come to mind
I have no one to turn to
They all have hated you
For so long
No mothering arms
Or friends to embrace

All I have
Are more memories of you
Of how I ran to you
With tears in my eyes
As my heart got broken
To many times to count
By all of those who
Claim to love me
Families that tormented me
Death that threatened me
Be it mine
Or that of others
When nothing seemed right in the world
I ran to you

Now that you are gone
Where do I belong?
My safe haven
Is long lost

I refuse to cry now
You have told me so many times
That it’s good to cry
But you aren’t here to catch my tears
To make sure I don’t fall
Again

I’m lost without my center of gravity
No matter how much we fought
You were there when I needed you

When I was lost in the rain
Afraid of new beginnings
You were who I called
We hadn’t really talked in months
But you picked me up
Made sure I was okay

When no one cared
That he left me
You handed me shots
And said it was his loss

When my family became unbearable
You talked me down
It took hours
But you never spoke a word of hate

I think that’s what hurts me the most
You never did say anything wrong at the end
All you did
Was pull away
No communication you said
I had lost your trust
The one thing I never lost
Through all those fights

Now I’m left here
Full of pain
Depressed but oddly at peace
Until my mind drags up
The picture of your face
I want to yell and cry at nights sky
But I know you are looking
At that same moon as me
While still getting lost in the stars

You never sleep
And now whenever I do
I don’t want to wake again
But I don’t have you here to calm me
I feel so alone now
Even when we fought
I knew you would come
When I decided to take my final breath

I know with certainty now
That no matter how many times I may call
You won’t pick up
And I will be alone at the end

You left before you
Could find someone
To take your place
Now I’m left here
Alone again
Just like you found me
But there's a difference now
Then I had never had anyone
To hold me at my worst
Now I have
And I don’t know
If I can go on alone

Now when things threaten
You aren’t here to make it better
Your memories hurt more than help
I am more lost now
Than I was then

Honey I’m not sure I can make it this time
I feel so broken
Without you here with me
You will just have to see me
On the other side
Please tell everyone
I’m better now
That you knew me better than them all
And that this is what I wanted
What you don’t have to tell them is

That I died because of you