I’m not sure if I’m capable of love

I thought I was a little while back but ever since I realized that he’ll never love me the way I want him to i closed off all possibilities of feeling that dreadful infatuation again

I yearn for the day when I don’t define love as being weak

I think that’s when you know it’s not love

He can never sit back and bask in the moment, always on a tight schedule, always moving

It feels like my childhood all over again

As I talked to him all I felt was the bitter remnants of my father pouring out of him 

Mocking ridicule nagging

I was standing in my mothers shoes 

The only time I feel close with him is when our bodies are doing all the talking

I want somebody to hold my hand not push it away 

We’ll never last but I’ve always known that