Sheila can't settle her mind
to lessons
she sees only
the boy John
in her mind's eye
his words repeat themselves
each time
the teacher speaks
maths
English
double P.E
had to be
got through
until at last
it's lunchtime recess
and she can hope
to find him
on the playing field
after a rushed meal
and she stands
on the edge
of the field looking
out to see if he's there
but she can't see him
and worries that recess
will go and she won't
have seen him
she walks onto the field
and there are kids
everywhere in groups
playing ball games
and sitting here and there
then as she turns
he's there
coming towards her
hands in his pockets
walking across the grass
looking for me?
he asks
she nods and searches
through her mind
for the right words to say
been looking for you
she says
trying to put on
a face of not being
put out
but isn't succeeding
he looks at her
taking in her glasses
and large eyes
and hair pinned back
at one side
with a metal clip
well I'm here now
he says
her name's gone again
he says
what is your name?
Sheila
she says
feeling unsettled
that's it
he says
he looks back at the field
behind him at boys
kicking a ball
Rennie asked me
about a game of football
but I said I was seeing you
John says
what did he say?
she asks
said I need to see a doctor
John says
o
she says
looking at the boy
and wondering if
he wants to be there
with her
do you want to play
ball with him?
she asks
no it can wait
he says
and walks on
and she walks beside him
why doe she say
you need to see a doctor?
she asks
as they walk on
he thinks girls
are a waste of time
beside football
I see
she says
don't worry about Rennie
I want to be here
with you
you do?
sure
I wouldn't be here
otherwise
o right
she says
let's go sit up
that end near the fence
away from the others
and we can talk
he says
she nods and smiles uneasily
he's is near to her
and his hand
is mere inches from hers
and as much as
she'd like him
to hold her hand
she's frightened
that he might
o what to do
she thinks as they walk
on towards the fence
and sit on the grass
and she feels undone
yet excited
to at last be there
with him
watching him
and taking in
his hazel eyes
and quiff of hair
and glad
she's sitting there.