I've never been able to express myself.
As a boy, I was never taught to man up.
I was never taught how to act in a socially acceptable way. I just knew.

When I was a teen, I befriended the wrong people. I let them hurt me and emotionally deprave me.
I always put my problems on the back burner and let them voice theirs and I still do the same thing now.

As a child I was never taught to emotionally deprive myself in any situation. I was always able to express myself fully. But in my teens I was taught by the exact people that I looked up to and admired to "stop being a baby" and to "man up".

I was taught by those people to cut myself off emotionally and now as my grandfather is dying and there are people dying in Baltimore and Nepal and even Gary, Indiana,
I am left alone in a world where my emotions can't be shown properly for the fear of someone helping me and showing their love.