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Apr 2015
"Stay for just a while," I say, "just for tonight, we can make this work if you give me a chance."
He sits there quietly looking down at his hands, he glances at the watch I gave him for his birthday
"Okay, fine," he manages
I reach across the table to grab his hands, he reluctantly lets me in
Tomorrow I know he will leave with the taste of coffee that was not sweet enough branded on his tongue
I did not put enough sugar to make him want to stay here
Tomorrow he will walk out as if he never knew me, as if I were a stranger he glanced at on the street
But for now, I curl up in his arms and kiss his neck just before he falls asleep
"We could make this work," I mumble, "I swear we could."
I want to stay in the crevice between his chest and arm forever
He drifts to sleep and slowly I am fatigued but refuse to rest
I do not want to waste any of the time I have the chance to look at you
Tomorrow he will pack his bags and say goodbye
It will be as if we never shared a thing together
The late night phone calls of you telling me how when you got home late, your parents were asleep
The lingering of our lips as our breath stood hot and still in the space between us
"I have to go now," he will say, "please try to understand."?and I will try to understand but I just can't
The light beaming in from the kitchen window has never looked so grim
I try to think of a way to convince him that the weather is too bad to walk outside
But it isn't, it's beautiful out and he has every reason to leave me
I thought that if I told him I missed him, that I wanted this one more time
That everything would turn around and that he would say he still loved me
He shuts the door behind him and I have never felt it more
That he doesn't
authentic
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authentic
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