i just cant today. I'm not feeling anything, from getting dressed to taking a shower, to getting in my car and going to work. I just don't want to get out of bed, i'd prefer to stay to myself and thoughts today. Why can't depression be a good reason to not go to work? I don't want to force a smile today, I don't have the energy. I tried to smoke some **** to clear my mind, but that honestly made me think more in depth, which didn't help. Maybe alcohol will help? (i can't go to work drunk though) ugh, i just need your love, i need your attention, i need a big ******* hug.
this isn't something that i've written and edited, or something that i jotted down in my notepad when i had the chance. this is me, waking up, trying to get out of bed to finish the day.