Someone will tell you that she’s seeing someone someday
and that she’s happy and your hands will stop working.

You’ll have to work hard
to hold onto whatever you’re holding.
I hope it’s not glass,
I hope it’s not breakable.

Suddenly you’ll remember
everything that you ever loved about her.
Everything that ever moved you to tears,
made your insides feel
like they were tying themselves into knots.
That she was loyal,
that she was open for you,
that she smiled against your mouth when you kissed.
That it felt easy,
like God had put the two of you together deliberately,
like it had been the plan all along.

But for whatever reason,
you let her go
and you thought that it was the right thing
and for a little while,
it felt like you knew exactly what you were doing.

Except now all the parts of you that touched her
knows that you’re never going to be able
to touch her again and that hurts.
Even your fingers are sad,
even your stomach is aching from the loss of it all.
You’re never going to get that again
and that’s why your regret
looks like artwork that would have been a masterpiece
if you’d finished it.
Your regret looks like plucking a flower before it’s bloomed.
So maybe you’ll call her
and you’ll tell her that you miss her
and she’ll sound gentle on the phone
but not in love with you anymore.
She’ll say ‘we happened
and we were important but you let me go,
I’m sorry, but you let me go’ and that’s how you’ll know.