It was the year of "almost,"
                            "not quite,"
                            "try again."
It was the year I prayed, "God,
let me be enough" every day
I walked out
the door
with shattered confidence,
contusions for every name you spit,
punch you threw,
direction I was thrown.
It was the year I learned you don't need
water
to feel like
you're drowning.
It was the year I bruised and healed.
                          bruised and healed.
                          bruised and healed.
It was the year I doubted Your goodness.
It was the year I was finally liberated
after the realization that you
can't help people
escape their chains
until
you
break
your own.
It was the You reminded me:
"You already are,
You always were,
and You still have time to be."
It was the year I learned I could spite fire
if I wanted to.

2013
It was the year I did.