A "Barry Hodges" poem*

I met this fat **** in a pub one day
Jesus, but she was a horrid sight,
She asked me if I was straight or gay
And would I like to kip with her that night?
I asked her how much she would cough
For a night of love with a chap like me
And the cow said I could **** right off
She wouldn't pay a copper coin for me.
It just shows even ugly ***** have their pride
And so there's hope for each and every one;
But if they won't pay cash for a good hard ride
They can go home and tweak their ***** alone.