what i wouldn’t give for another chance to say
“you made me sick.”
darling when you touched me it felt like burning.
not in the same way that a lit match feels against your face
more like the way your stomach feels after you haven’t eaten for three days.
that’s what it felt like. an empty stomach.

and you can’t say you didn’t teach me that starving and loving are the same thing.
they both hurt. they both stretch out.
they both **** you by the end of it.

honey when the end hit us,
i didn’t want you to go. i wanted to be full of something, that’s all.
i was full of you.
i needed you like lungs in smoke:
too much, too much.

what you needed was an apology.
what you got was me.

darling what i wouldn’t give for another chance to say
   “you made me sick. you made me sick
        and i loved you for it.”