Who are we kidding when we place a bottle to our lips and try to call it a marriage of some sort the last thing I remember a straw between my teeth then your ear in its place fast forward to me counting the steps to your door 1, 2, 3.. 6.. 14..25 I was barely 13 before I was taught love was a call to arms, not a veritable verb you told me it was good enough holding it in my palm and really I should’ve known when every attempt at romance was nothing above a whisper how I was your best kept secret at 15
at 19, I still unravel under the influence my cup is empty from the nights I gave you so much it tumbled into the morning after but all that was left to grab at was your hair on my pillow, you were spontaneous like that, weren’t you? and I, hey, why won’t you just lighten up? You fancied flight and I only wanted the pebbles crushed beneath my plimsolls telling me all I ever needed to know, that the smallest only get stifled more and before I knew it I was a crushed up beer can, insides still wet ******* it coursing real liquid in real time just so I could live to love you and you tell me, sobriety hurts like I’m only beautiful when I’m a blur oh sweetheart, if only you knew how pretty your eyes were before they rolled to the back of your head, and sweetheart, I hope you make it home tonight.
and that home, is you retching on the floor, on your knees because that’s where you liked me best.