i'm wondering about you wondering about me
i'm killing myself just to remain interesting
cutting my skin to have a story to tell
smoking cigarettes so maybe i'll forget about the blood
maybe tomorrow night i'll leak oceans out of my eyes
and **** time instead of the people i love

i'm wondering about god wondering about me
praying prayers i know won't be answered
whispering lies to myself on the floor of my shower
naked and alone and afraid and beyond everything
i'm smiling at my friends while the voice in my head screams
shivering in the heat and sweating in the cold

i'm wondering about me wondering about you
why weren't you there when i took too many pills?
it tore out my insides and lit flames down my throat
do you ever think about what it would be like to be happy?
maybe like floating or like the sound of laughing children
maybe not like white noise and static

*(a.m.c.)