I get the feeling something is missing
a hole in my memory
a tear in my belly
an ache in my heart
I can’t seem to put my finger on it
no clue as to what caused it
this hollow feeling tears through my body
it eats at my insides
my mind starts to pound
searching for answers seeking out every dark secret
hoping to find the source of this emptiness,
this thing,
this cold tendril of fire whips through me reopening deep wounds
only bits and pieces are coming back
flashes of fire and tears
relief and anger
rain and laughter
but it’s not the same
things are changed but I don’t know what
and it’s not in the right order
I delve deeper into the dark fire that is my memories
only to find a burning blackness swirling just beneath the skin
slivers of twirling silver memories threading itself through the inky black fog
nothing is in the right order but I write it down anyway
hoping the rest will come back
but it’s only bits and pieces
and I’m tearing my hair out
wracking my brain
I’m going to go insane
and these bits and pieces are not enough