see, astronauts need a certain amount
of pressure
surrounding their space suit
else their body boils

and this is exactly what it feels like at 2:34 in the afternoon when i am too sad to pass my mathematics exam but too anxious to fail it, this is exactly what it feels like when i have gone too long without talking to you because for some reason my brain is always conducting experiments on itself. i mean i am superheating in here, its all just so noisy and so silent at the same time, i mean, this morning i woke up to eat/dont eat and get out of bed/why are you still here and when im around you and when you touch me, i forget when i was so upset about and

i was always told  not to rely on another person for my happiness but you are the spacesuit applying just enough pressure from outside so the insides of me stayed safe and warm instead of constantly ready to blow a fuse

you calm me, you are my centre and my gravity. and i sorry thats asking for so much.