I can’t trust my mind...

So I throw myself down the stairs

Standing in front of the sink
My own eyes stared back at me
The mirror was *****, and through the flecks
I saw my self

Where was this beauty?
Sometimes I glimpsed it in dreams,
A stranger with familiar qualities
That I'm ashamed to call my own

But the time keeps getting away,
so I chase and I chase and I chase
Something beyond the sky, beyond the earth,
Beyond what my fingers can grasp at

(These tips get blistered, calloused,
Yet where does my mind hide?)