breathe me in
swallow me like water you’ll never taste again,
like sap from a honeysuckle
keep me there, inside you
break me
contort your body so my bones shatter
and throw yourself to the ground so i cough up blood
make it hurt
but just remember the broken shards I leave behind will **** you
they will cut your insides and shorten your breath
and once this happens
when you’re doubled over in the bathroom
puking up the pills they gave you to make it go away,
i hope you regret it
i hope you wish you’d never breathed me in,
had never swallowed me
never let me trick you into thinking
i was actually something beautiful,
that i could actually save you again
you broke me once
and i wasn’t finished healing when you picked me back up again
i didn’t care if it would hurt
i wanted you to feel my pain
to feel all the pain,
and then nothing
to feel the pain and the agony and the hot tears streaming down your face like raindrops
to feel the aching in your chest that made it hard to breathe
and hear the monster in your head that made it hard to sleep
i wanted you to feel it all,
wishing it would go away
and then i wanted you to feel nothing
just as i had
i wanted you to feel the numbness spreading across your body like fog making a home in your bones
i wanted you to contemplate your existence
and wonder if any of it was real,
and wonder
why couldn’t you ******* feel anymore?
i wanted you to long for the pain again
i wanted you to hurt like i did
but most of all
i wanted you to regret it