I've had dreams recently,
dreams of happier times,
where I have my mind.

I wake up every morning,
thinking they were real,
at least that's how they feel.

Walk into the bathroom,
see myself in the mirror,
if I listen, I still hear her.

Wash my face, brush my teeth,
swallow my pills and make believe.

I don't want to keep on fighting,
if it's just going to hurt,
even more than before.

I fear the world and all it has,
all it can take,
all that's at stake.

The odds are against me,
my chances of surviving,
as slim as getting struck by lightning,
a second time.

If I swallow these pills,
and let them control me,
what will become,
of me?