“There will be no second Newtown here!”
Our principal decreed.
“Forget armed guards on campus,
Cans of soup are all we need.”
“When murderous villains roam our halls
And the shots are growing louder,
We’ll take them down with well-placed throws
of canned New England Chowder!”
“With a giant rubber slingshot,
we will make the villain pay.
Why, with adequate supplies of soup
We could hold out for days!”


This policy of “Soup to ****”
Is not like concealed carry.
It seems like an idea straight out
of Curly, Moe and Larry.