You want me to let you in? To call off the guards? To let down the walls? You, So passionately, want me to stop fighting
so I will.
I will fall violently, unadulteratedly & freely in love with you.
Just like you want me to.
And you'll lie in my bed all day, while I try on eight different dresses for my cousin's wedding
And when you leave, I'll watch my skin shrink as I lie paralyzed in my bathtub, day dreaming about the two small freckles under the left corner of your bottom lip
And the first time we argue & you spend three whole days angrily ignoring my calls, I'll chain smoke until my throat burns
And when you finally decide to show up at my door with a vanilla latte and apologetic eyes, I will melt pathetically into your collarbones and all down your spine
And then we will sit Indian style across from each other on my kitchen floor & you'll tell me in excruciating detail all your past lovers' infidelities and unkindnesses that led you to fight with me
And that will be it
That will be the exact moment when I will know, without a doubt that I am completely & entirely ******
And I will cry into your neck, knowing for sure that from then on even the most passive, nonspecific mention of your name will make my stomach float up into my chest & jolt back down into my abdomen like I'm falling from the highest point on a roller coaster
And no amount of poetry, whiskey, midnight drives, nicotine, house shows or therapy will make it stop or even distract my soul from it for a ******* split second
Because once I allow myself to love, I love until I break & then I keep on loving until I'm nothing
And I just don't know if your conscience is strong enough to carry the weight of my shattered heart
So... tell me Hazel Eyes, just how bad you actually want me to pick up that phone