So I had more than I needed to drink, enthused away the heavy
Managed to let go of it for long enough to be an approachable friend
And fall flat on my face on the dance floor, and lose my bottle and bag to London's foreign legion
It was a good night and a warm reminder of why I'm here
Forgive me though if I'm brought back to those same old nags
One is a permanent part of the programming
A variable that resculpts moments, sometimes with a lack of clarity, otherwise too intense a saturation
I'm not here to talk about it, but the context needs to be there
The other is that same old chase of the cats
Throwing yourself with arms behind you into an encounter without even realising it
Because that one took your hand and let you kiss her
I remember the moment, and nothing else, the evidence of failure only found in drunk texts and a phone that's turned off
Really hits home after a while
Weirdest thing is though.. is that I've taken a lesson from it
One that for some reason gives me a sad smile, and yet an empowering one
If I relax into life, work off the coughs and work on the plans
Ease off the deceptions and distractions, as far as I can
I.e. just carry on with this stupid self involved process
I'll have another moment like that somewhere along the way
Whether by circumstances I've put myself in or by the random roll of the dice
And this time, instead of the worst crashing in front of her in ways I don't even remember
I'll be ready to show everything that's good about me
And if that last girl's look was anything to go by
It'll be enough