I walk with ambitious expectations
My head filled with slow frustration
Air around me is radiation
clouding in my lungs

My heart beats like
a steady train
Slow but heavy,
polluting my brain
Everyone around me is evil, or am
I just mad?

Stop looking, stop thinking.
Stop all the foolish
queries.
Doubt and hope and
endless confusion
weighing me down
as I quiver with fear.

I can't, I have to,
I will.

Outside I can breathe,
on my own,
when the bats and
the flies no longer surround
me.
Fresh air so
smooth and clean,
Inside there it's
clouded and thick.
Now I am a bird,
though my wings
will not lift.

The rain starts
to pour but I
cannot shift.
I try and I try but
my bones are too
weak, hollow,
compressed
and my eyesight's
turned bleak.

I realize suddenly,
in all my fear,
that behind me
was my future,
all I hold dear.
Water is rising,
my lungs start
to fill.
I'm no longer
a bird,
but a flower.
No power.
No will.