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I pray,
   to find a way.
To express,
    with success.
What I need,
     to say.
 Apr 22 pilgrims
Lostling
Liar
 Apr 22 pilgrims
Lostling
The girl in the mirror
Is a liar
Even with the people she trusts
She lies
Even in the place she’s most bare
She lies
Even when its just us
She lies

And I’m too tired to figure out the truth
Or put anything I feel into words
 Apr 22 pilgrims
Lostling
It's not that I want you gone
I appreciate you
I really do
But it's hard to believe you're sincere
When you're also scrolling through shorts at the same time
Got yelled at by seniors awhile ago. I couldn't keep myself together and ended up breaking down (again)
A friend comforted me, hugged me, told me it wasnt my fault. But she was on her phone the whole time.
Every time I’m happy, for reasons I don’t know,
Lights flash in my heart and it kind of . . . . discos.

Why not a waltz, polka, salsa, jive, tango or calypso?
Of all dances, I am not sure why it chooses to disco.

Perhaps, it’s a dance that it can dance on it’s own,
A dance in merry solitude when I might be alone.

Maybe, I grew up in the time when Saturday Night Fever was in tow,
When pop charts went tizzy with songs that’d make the world boom-boom go.

Maybe, my heart beats to the rhythm of life, at times funky, at times slow,
Maybe, it’s in tune with electronic sounds around me — that in a humdrum, flow.

The top left chamber of my heart, leaps, jumps and thumps so,
The bottom right chamber shakes a leg to a psychedelic-lights-show.
My arteries and ventricles throb and pulsate oh . . . OH!
Pumping blood in a sudden rush all the way to my toes.

And like the ever-glittering disco ball, I spin, shine and glow,
Every time I’m happy, my heart jumps . . . And a-dancing it goes
Written by a very young at heart me
 Apr 16 pilgrims
Mary Huxley
I wore his vest,
trading stained threads
for something that smelled
just like him.

Bare legs, quiet room—
his eyes found mine,
and I swear,
time leaned in to listen.

"Just forehead kisses,"
I whispered once,
twice—
trying to stay soft
when my heart wasn’t.

But he looked at me
like I was still his,
like the ache between us
wasn’t ready to end.

His hands at my waist,
his breath on my cheek,
the silence hummed,
sweet and weak—

And then,
before goodbye could speak…
I kissed him—
once,
long,
slow,
like we forgot what leaving meant.
 Apr 16 pilgrims
Immortality
As I stand beneath,
sky's embrace,
open arms,
claim me as its own.

each drop,
cold,
yet warmth blossom in me.

each raindrop,
feels as a caress,
a lover's kiss,
as it drenchs my soul.
just me and rain
 Apr 16 pilgrims
Lostling
Chest
Tight—gasp
For air
Eyes
Burn—face
Numb ******
Thoughts-
WORTHLESS
EXPENDABLE
PATHETIC-
Loop
The lies/TRUTH

Holding
my breath,
My body
becomes
a trap
too tight
Just when I thought I was doing better too
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