they say lying is a kindness
and i always tried to be kind to you
but i'm no good at keeping people safe
so i only told you what was true

i didn't think i could do this alone
and some days are harder than most
but i'm muddling through
as you pale, in my mind - a ghost

it was no ones fault
yet i beg forgiveness in the dark
to hold you close, one last time
the only thing i'd ever ask

i think i lost the right to ask for anything a long time ago

i am the ghost to you
i wait in the empty space
for something that has passed
a time forgotten, or maybe it never existed at all

the sweetest haze of summer days excludes me
the way i thought i loved you eludes me

the Truth evades me
you do not tell me the Truth
i must learn on my own
to trust you; to love you

things have changed now
i am sick with worry
and you are far beyond the glass

let it change; let you be the one to change it
i will wait
but not forever

(this is to be read to the rhythm of tapping ******* of one hand against the wrist of the other twice, then repeating the action but using the opposite hand)

i belong on the train at night
track goes by with ***** of light
never will i leave or ever arrive
far in the distance, a child cries

(repeat repeat repeat repeat)
(repeat repeat repeat repeat)

(stop when you have calmed down or when the repetition becomes so that you hurt yourself. repeat everytime you can't handle your own existence)

tell me your secrets
you ask
late night, a thousand miles apart
the phone blinks

tell me your secrets
you ask
drinking, lying in your bed
arms touching

tell me your secrets
you ask
cup of coffee, over brunch
i stir in the milk

i smile slowly
i dont have any secrets
i say
tell me one of yours

i cant believe you believe me

I will always look for you, in a crowd.

Do you know what its like, to live at the edge? I am nothing special but you are bright and brilliant; I cannot help but bask in it.

People talk about you. I talk about you - every second sentence. No wonder they think I'm in love.

I don't know what I want.
I'd rather be in your light than anyone elses. When you single me out, I feel the warmth, the electric from your light, and I shine too.

Bright and brilliant, don't you see that? Don't you know how brilliant you are?

I don't know what I want and even if I did I wouldn't know what to do.

Besides, I've thought about these things, yet you haven't. I know that. It's never crossed your mind.

I'll love you in a thousand ways. I can't always help you, but if for one moment, you know how bright and brilliant you are, I will be happy. And when you know, you will shine so bright you'll never wonder how you could have forgotten it. I will shine that day, bathing in the warmth and the light.

Allow me this, allow me this.

tell me the truth
how are you feeling?
tell me the truth
is this what you want?
if it is i'll support you just
tell me the truth
bits of a broken heart
you've told me
the truth
tell me the truth
what wont you say
what wont you say to anyone
tell me the truth
the night makes me soft
they all talk
they say things
i wont listen
ill listen to you if you

tell me the truth

what is this? why?

would i want to know
if you told me the truth?

Poison
Running through me
You told me, I asked for the truth
You should have kept it from me
Soft futures and soft dreams
Soft girls wrapped up in promise

I do not fit
Too big, boy-girl
Too much, too soon
I was not meant to love you

But I did
And it was done
Swift kiss, shot right through me
The poison came later

You deserve eachother
I deserve a chance
Let the tide change

I won't look back