I'm not sure why people love *** so much
Maybe I haven't had the right partners
Maybe I'm too insecure to enjoy it
That's most likely my problem
Or maybe it's just overrated
Every time I'm in bed
Attempting to crawl out of my shell
And give pleasure to my lover
I just want it to be over
I'm so preoccupied with being ashamed of myself
And embarrassed
Obviously I'm my own worst enemy
But *** isn't that enjoyable for me
I only like to give
I rarely allow myself to receive
I guess everyone else out there
Is having enough *** for me

Dear Nick,
I'm really quite sorry that I'm bad at this relationship thing
Please realize that I expected to never be loved and live with 75 cats
And I half expect you to start laughing and say "This was all a social experiment!"
But for you, I'm trying to be better at this relationship thing

Dear Nick,
I'm sorry it took me so long to call you back
You see, I have a crippling phone anxiety
and whenever I have to call someone I have a panic attack
But even if it takes pacing for 30 minutes, I'll always call you back

Dear Nick,
Sorry that I pulled back that day you tried to kiss me
And then made a dumb excuse how your breath smelled like popcorn
It didn't, and even if it did I wouldn't have minded
And now the only time your lips are on mine are in my dreams

Dear Nick,
I'm sorry I'm bad at expressing my feelings
And I can only tell you 'I love you' in cryptic rhymes in written word
And I'm writing you this poem you'll never see
But just know, you've been a huge inspiration to me

Dear Nick,
I'm sorry I say sorry for everything
I'm just so used to ******* up things
But I must be doing something right
Because you still loved me through anything
Maybe I'm not too bad at this relationship thing

What's in a name?
What's in your name?
Do the sweet lines of betrayal run through your name?
Is there an evil ring to a seemingly innocent name?
Does your name spell out the vindictive and manipulative person you are?
Your name was a trap.
I fell for it the day I met you.
Such a beautiful name.
So beautiful that it disguised the dangerous undertones.
It disguised the warnings.
Coupled with your adorable smile and comfortably warm hand,
which I grasped onto like a life source.
Warm hands that I thought could melt my cold soul.
Warm hands.
Warm eyes.
Warm name.
Bitter aftertaste.

I thought living on my own for the week would be empowering. Turns out it’s just lonely.
When this place holds so many amazing memories, it’s horrible to be in it alone.
When I walk around all I can do is remember everything. The good and the bad.
With him.
I remember the littlest things he did. Here. There. I remember where we fought, where we made up, where we said goodbye.
With them.
Singing. Drinking. Having a good time, reminding me that there is much more fun to be had in our short lives. With me.
There doesn’t seem to be much. Just this emptiness and longing for other people.

You whisper poetry in my ear
While I cut the heads off flowers.
Your breath is satin and I'm using shears
Stems and bones break the same way.
You're warmth and light and wonder
A sun in the void of myself.
You are a thousand universes all compressed
Into flesh and bone.
You're terrifying
But I want to explore you forever.
You rend me limb from limb
Never laying a finger on my skin.
You're the death of me in an immortal soul
Perfection in the cracks of a vase.
You deserve my hatred for my pain
But I love you ever more with each ache.
You've left me helpless and
I only want more.
You're stars in the vastness of sky
Looking at the flowers I am, sprouting from mud.
You burn me with a glance
My petals withered and fell.

The first thing I saw on my schedule was Photography first period in Room B22
My first photography class started with me rushing in tardy with tears
I sat far away from everyone else trying to disappear
I had no friends in that class and I didn't think i'd like Room B22

There was a boy in my class in Room B22
I didn't notice him at first but he seemed kind
He was scrawny and cute with brunette hair just a few shades lighter than mine
I still didn't know anyone in Room B22

That boy talked to me one day in Room B22
And I tried to remember his name
I think it was Nathan...or Nick....or may be James
Wait! James was his brother and he was Nick, one of the many things I learned in Room B22

I started a friendship with Nicholas in Room B22
He'd always show off his pictures in the dark room
And I'd flick water at him while the other students fumed
I was glad I formed a friendship in Room B22

Our friendship began to grow outside of Room B22
We would talk in the hallway and exchange words
I grew fond of him and when we said goodbye, I missed him afterwards
I thought about how I never would have met him if it weren't for Room B22

I developed a little crush on him in Room B22
I tried so many times to tell him but the words got caught in my throat
I was concerned about our friendship and lost all hope
I held a lot of things back in Room B22

I fell completely in love in Room B22
I told him things I couldn't confess to myself
And he never treated me any differently, like I was someone else
I met my best friend and my first love in Room B22

She is heavenly,
concocted by the gods & goddesses.
I crave her drippy consistency,
throw in some nuts & honey
and I am forever
smitten by her raw-flavor.
She's that tasty,
she's my doll,
my chocolate.