When you watch the one you love the most become unhappy.
And there's nothing you can do about it because they won't let you in.
They don't want to share with you,
even though they know you wouldn't do or say anything to hurt them.
At least not intentionally.
And you ask and ask them what's wrong.
But they keep quiet and just distance themselves away from you.
You ask what's wrong,
They tell you they need space.
So you give it to them.
They probably just need to push you ways because they know you see everything about them.
You can see through them like glass,
and they don't want you to see how they're shattered.
So you think about them at night,
before you sleep.
About their smile and their laugh.
How you miss it.
And you'd do anything to get it back.
To breathe some life into your ghost.
And then finally,
when you think you may be getting somewhere with them,
maybe they'll tell you their secrets,
tell you what's hurting them.
So you say it..
You say it all.
I hate what's hurting you,
and I'd do or give anything to make it stop.
And you wait for them to respond,
but when they do all they say is
Okay, I'll be fine! Thanks.
And you just sit there with your eyes stinging because they are so much apart of you that when they're away from themselves,
they're away from you too.
It's like you can't breathe right.
So here I am sitting, worrying.
Wondering when you'll let me through.
Wishing I could drive to your house right now,
come through your door,
hold your face in my hands so I can see your eyes and you can see mine..
Looking into nothing but honesty,
so that if one doesn't tell the truth,
the other can see it right away.
Or maybe I'd be too chicken with such a direct approach,
knowing you don't like my finger prints staining your skin.
So I'd wait till we went to bed,
you lying on your side and I on mine.
Whispering in scratchy voices,
I'd ask what's wrong.
I'd hope you'd tell me.
Maybe if your answer was said in a dark room,
the heaviness would disappear from your words,
letting them float up to the ceiling until they escaped out the window.
I can't say for sure.
You don't open up.
And it kills me to know that,
that you can't even for me.
And it kills me more that my words probably wouldn't help you at all,
even if I said them a million times.
So I'll just repeat myself and say I'm here for you,
always.
And you'll probably repeat yourself too,
and say that you'll be fine.

The loud silence overwhelms us
The last of our conversation
Still echoes in our heads
Tension spreads
Eyes wander, heads turn.
There are still things to be said
But there is only so much that can be done
To drown the silent words
That float endlessly
Across our minds...

I liked you better when you were self harming and sad because at least then you paid attention.
You used to stand up for me and help me get through the day-- no you ignore me like I never knew you.
You used to tell me I was beautiful and gorgeous-- now you just say I'm pretty and okay.
You were the one who used to build me up when I was down-- now you tear me down every chance you get.
There was a time when my feelings meant everything to you but that was back when I said you were too nice
I told you I didn't like it when guys were nice to me and you told me you would never  change--I guess we both lied.
I told you that you were too clingy for me now all I want is for you to hold me and tell me you love me still.
You made it clear, I am nothing important anymore, and the worst part is I blame this entirely on myself.

If you wanted revenge you got it.
You win.