I'm jealous of all the girls,
   who can wing out their eyeliner,
   and learn how to fly.

   Whos eyebrows are perfect,
   without filling them in,
   even though they still do.

   I'm jealous of all the girls,
   who can speak to anyone,
   and who aren't in a lower league.

   Whos hair is perfect any day,
   and whos smile could,
   make world peace a real thing.

   I'm jealous of all the girls,
   who fly around people at school,
   without feeling the need to hide.

  Whos life seems perfect whatever,
  and who get invited to parties, real parties,
  whom have decent friends.

   I'm jealous to all the girls with lovely,
   long blonde hair to which people,
   compliment as though it'll be their last.

   Whos outfit is amazing,
   whos life is and their friendship group,
   whilst I'm here trying and trying.

   Always trying.

   And I'm sorry.
   For all the time I pull out my flaws,
   I break your heart just once more.

Treasure in forest,
Water dropping crystal beads—
Dew on wild orchids.

I cry as our fingers slide apart;
Wrapped up in a cloth blanket drenched with tears
But held tightly because of fear;
Fear that you'd never come back
Fear that you'd change if you did
But as of now I dream of holding you in
Firmly against my skin so neither of us would be hot nor cold
Because in our presence its prefect...
Not a discrepancy I could name
Not a thing I would change;
For you are the reason I'm sane;
What could I do if you didn't come back; I'm hopeless in fact
Thus, I'm not the same when we're back to back
Your face is everything and your feelings the same
*Do please come back in time I tried to explain

Winter is coming
Fast and strong
Bring the snow
Leave the darkness
Bring the love
Leave the cold

Winter is going
Let the cold pass by
Let the snow melt
Let the dark go bright
But please
Let the love stay.

The black snow runs down from the rooftops;
A red finger dips into your brow;
Blue snow flakes sink into the empty room,
They are a lovers’ dying mirrors.
Heavy and torn to pieces the mind muses,
Follows the shadow in the mirror of blue snow flakes,
The cold smile of a deceased harlot.
The evening’s wind weeps in the scent of carnations.

North winds, clouds gathering,
My mind paddles in sky river,
Like snow geese or swans.

Filling outside baths,
So many guests arriving,
Colourful autumn birds.

In light of last days—
Mountains breaking through the clouds,
Song in the birds' flight . . .

I'm not o k a y
they tell me I'm not
they say you're not worth it, that you should give up
everyday is a nightmare
I live in the shadow of physical
& softly hum the words of verbal
I'm l o s t in the past of alcohol & pain
I'm l o s t in the present of blades & emptiness
I'm l o s t in the future of life or death
I'm intoxicated on pain & high on the nightmares
I'm lost inside of myself
I choose not to give up because I'm afraid of falling back down
whats the point of leaving if you're already here?
eventually,

maybe.
a.c.