I slept 3 feet from the edge of the bed tonight
thinking it would save me from falling off
and waking up to reality.
But I woke up on the floor, delirious,
curled up with a picture of you

you're burning bridges
faster than you can build them,
making an abandoned
island
out of what was once called paradise      
  
you looked at me with an empty heart
and I tried to fill it  
"you're good, baby, you're so good"  
but my voice was so weak
and you didn't believe me
and, baby, you've gone bad

you're so busy fighting to be relevant
that you forgot to stop
fighting against the boy
with a smile like the moon
and arms like home

you've tried so hard to be tough
that you won't let the good things in
and the bad things won't leave
and you're dying from your own poison,
rotting in your own prison
from the inside out and

you're begging me
for something to quench your thirst but
I could pour you
glass after glass of compassion
and you'd empty it onto the floor because you can't bear to actually drink it

Instead you chase whiskey with self-pity
and I
watch helplessly
as pieces of my past
come dancing to life on stage
in front of me

I can't give hope to arms too shaky to hold it,
can't give faith to a stomach that can't keep it down     
     
"you're good, baby, you're so good," I whispered

but then I walked away and took my words with me, too

the world around me has become a tornado, everything around me is falling apart and flying away, but you are still here.
and though you are only a small strand of grass, i hold on to you against this raging storm.
eventually i know i must let go, for a single strand of grass cannot hold a burden as heavy as myself.
just know that when i let go and hurl myself into the whirlwind around us, i will forever be wishing i could've held on for a few moments more.

i was born with holes in me
all my life i’ve searching for someone with a needle and thread
searching for someone to put me back together again
people, they came in and they went out of my life
but none with that needle and thread
when each noticed the holes, they thought one of two things:
they could not find the means to patch the holes
or the holes simply frightened them away
i spent many days simply staring at the holes
wishing my fumbling hands or cascading tears could somehow seal them
but my hands and my tears could do nothing
i howled at the moon in agony while i watched the holes grow
as much i tried to find people to stitch me up i never could
yes, some stayed and held me as i endured the agony
but they could never seal them
never seal the passages to the deepest parts of me
the dark beckoned to me them
it said in the dark the holes would disappear
it said i would never feel the pain again
this temptation ate at me and ate at me like the very holes themselves
but today i am going out
i am going out to buy myself a needle and thread
to do what no one else can
i am going to buy a needle and thread
i am going to stitch myself back together again