This pain is so severe
it's affecting every nerve
in this back of mine, oh dear
I feel like I'm close to tears
this is hurting me
more than you'd think
behind my forced smile
is a mouth dying to scream
and behind my happy eyes
are eyes who are eager to cry.

Go ahead, leave me behind
watch as my heart breaks
and my soul loses it's light
as you destroy me
and my mind

poison my heart with lies
feed my brain empty promises
and remember my face
as you watch me die inside
with tears filling my eyes
and a smile covering up the pain

leave me behind, but remember
I'll always cherish your love
as it was raw and tender*
even though you left me broke
feels like someone put my heart in a blender*
and left me with a glass of pain
which tasted bitter

Kitty

He wishes to die
As he screams to the sky
With hatred in his voice
And hurt in his eyes

So close yet so far
I want to kiss the scars
That scatters his body
And leaves him marred

I want to protect his heart forever
And keep it but let it go, never
Mend the wounds inside
And make him feel better

Mommy

little girl six years old
saw mommy in pain
ask what had happened to her skin
“they’re only from a game,
you see. Daddy likes to play”

she looked at mommy one last time
she saw her broken smile
another bruise across her cheek
that had stayed a while

she never knew why mommy played
a game that would only hurt
she accepted mommy’s cries of sorrow
she wondered about her blood stained shirt

mommy hid behind the couch
as daddy slurred his words
another drunken night again
another world of hurt

hiding under broken tables
surrounded by shattered glass
seeing daddy play his game
I wished it was a forgotten past

brother tried to fight him off
doing the best he can
saying “***** close your eyes,
it time to be a man.”

I couldn’t help to listen
to the few words he had said
I watched as he blocked poor mommy
he had stood up to dad

he took the first blows
daddy laughed as he saw brother glare
with hatred in his eyes
and plain emptiness there

brother got mad
and socked daddy back
he’d broken daddy’s nose
because of that ******* laugh

it held joy in all the blows
the things that broke mommy
all ones that made her cry
the ones that crippled her body

brother had saved my mommy
with the fourth hit he gave
daddy got knocked flat on his back
his self esteem had caved

we ran from that monster
and were saved by an angel
hes my brother
he's my mommy's savior

Sitting in the corner of the room,
Cigarette in one hand,
Black coffee in the other,
Caffeine
Nicotine

The perfect combination.

The sun is melting into the horizon, merging with the darkening landscape,
Like a flame being extinguished as it is plunged into water,
The luminescent glow of the laptop throws shadows against the wall,
Pinned up by gravity.

The relentless scrolling through images of pretty girls and pale shades,
Vibrant foods and tranquil nature,
I wonder which one I should reblog
All of them.

The cigarette continues to burn,
Plumes of ashen smoke consuming the scent of ancient wood and faded paint.
Raindrops begin to tear at the window,
Fogging up the glass,
Echoing through the hallowed halls.

The coffee is gone,
It warms my veins.
I suppose I better make another cup
**After all, this is what I do for a living

i always wonder when things will be okay.
not forever, just until they're not again
and my bed stops smelling like Tide and starts smelling like me
and the water bill goes up and the phone bill goes down
and my heart starts to hurt like it used to.
i wonder when i won't walk with an anchor in my chest
when the people who cared start caring again
when i remember what feeling like myself feels like.
when i won't be embarrassed around razors
when i'll be tired as often as i say i am
when i'll try as hard you wish i would.