Our hearts can become filled with so much
hatred yet even though we continually feel this way
we still think about all the possibilities.
This world is filled with anger.
This world is heavy on souls.
This world never gives us a break.
Is it a punishment to humans ?
What if you were able to change the whole world?
Where would you start?
School, Home,  or even
Work.
The world is filled with so many great possibilities.
Its time for this world to become what it can be.

Forget those people who make you feel
unworthy.
Forget the pain just for a day.
Forget all the sadness just for awhile.
If it helps scream.
LOUD.
Forget all of the *******, and block out
this horrible world and stay a while
with me.

I've had dreams*
that I wasn't this way
that my world wasn't crumbing around me.
That I was okay.
That I didn't have so much fear of pain.
That I could fly far away to not face
everything.
I don't know what to say anymore.
Pathetic I know.

My beautiful best friend.
I have watched you for awhile now.
You finally are starting to become proud of who
you are turning out to be.
My beautiful best friend
thank you for constantly being there for me
whatever the cause may be.
My beautiful best friend
your smile make my day when you are happy
it gives me hope.
My beautiful best friend
Stay with me until the end and
promise to never leave me hanging on a string.

You and me
we float on the same river
in the same canoe looking
straight ahead waiting for
something new.
We were meant to stay afloat for
each other.
Before I met you my canoe flipped over
so many times.
At days I felt like I was drowning.
But now that your with me
holding my hand
I know that we are meant to be
best friends.
I love you a lot more than you will ever know.
So please stay in my boat with me,
we will find our way to the shore
and everything will end up being great again
once more...

All my life that's all I can remember
standing in front of a mirror
and pointing out my physical flaws.
Too big. Too small.
It didn't help that somebody was whispering in my ear
"you will never be good enough".
For two years.
Ever since then I have felt like I cant reach any ones
expectation.
But of course its not anyone else's problem.
Today out of all days I felt like I wasn't good enough.
Sometimes my true reality can become so
cliché.
Where's my knight ? Who told me I was beautiful and smart?
Oh that's right he never existed.
I'm the type of girl who fishes for compliments but
never gets them and if I do its out of pity.
I am so beyond angry
sad.
Tired emotionally drained.
That the old me I cant even see anymore.
I wish I was good enough to be me.
But I guess I am not.

Some days I wish you were here.
At days it feels like its been years since
you were here.
My birthday was long.
I waited for your calls.
Even though none were received
I know you guys are still with me.
I hope I made you very proud
I'm sure I have
But I still wish you were here
With me.

I love you so
Much that it physiologicaly
hurts.
I wish I could take all your pain away.
Out of everyone on this earth
you my dear deserve to be happy.
I just want you to know that without a doubt that
I love you dearly.

Today I feel free.
All through the day I've felt bright.
Keeping my thoughts at ease.
Every time I close my eyes, I feel alright.

Maybe its because I am happy
Even though I know it wont last today is the day to be happy.

Although I may seem sad, i'm happy
Worries in my head have floated away
Any day I get to smile is a great day to me.
Yes finally I am okay I feel okay I feel no pain in my heart i'm finally free.

Funny how I'm replaced just like that,
with the snap of a finger.
It makes me laugh.
Its kind of sad how
3 WORDS can change so easily.
The only thing that makes me laugh is
it shouldn't happen to me.
God I am mad and sad I wish you would see
how its not funny to treat me like I have no dignity.

Spin me around
make me feel
alive.
Take me out
and hold me
tight.
We will dance to
the
acoustic beat,
spin me again
make me feel wanted
make me think that I have
Thunder and lightning
inside me.

I can feel your pain.
I know I'm not just going insane.
I know I've been a horrible friend
Can I tell you something?
I feel you even though you're away
I can feel how you feel and
It causes my heart much pain
I hope one day you realize
That no matter what happens in this life
I will always have open
Arms....

It feels good to be sober
ladies and gentlemen.
But most importantly it feels good
to notice that I'm loved.
That I'm finally happy.
To know I have you.
That god has my back.
It feels good to live.
To breath.
To be free.
It feels good to no longer depend.
To just be good old fashioned me.

How can anyone love me
when I dont even love
myself.

We stick together.
Me and you like
butter and bread,
pencil and paper,
dresses with flats.
Your my best friend.
I love you so.

You can only party so much,
before it becomes old.
It's time to grow the hell up dude.
Be a man,
Or  a women.
Not everything can be fun and games.

Love is when you can tell a person anything without being afraid. Love is when you stay up late and have long deep talks. Love is how you share with the other person. Love is when you cant imagine that person leaving you, and if they do you feel as if tomorrow is so far away. Love is when you're around the other person and you feel safe. Love can be so many things. Love is special. Love is when you have a rough day and they come and pick you up. These things can be so hard to find. But if you do, don't ever let that person walk through a door and never come back. Love is so rare. To have love is something magical. Never let it slip through your hands.

If there is a god answer my
prayers.
If there is a god what did I
do to deserve all of this?
If there is a god could he hear
my prayers and answer then
for me.
Please.
If you're there can you
at least be there for me,
so I'm not alone in this
world.
If there is a god I want to know
why all of this is happening
to me.

We live in a world where
people lie over petty things,
people don't help unless they get something out of it, steal, cheat, immaturity is off the wall with this young generation and what's the most disheartening thing of all is no one gives a ****.
But I do.

October 8th the worse day.
I'm counting down the minutes.
I'm counting down the hours.
Reminding myself of the worse day of my life.
It's the anniversary.
It's hard to move on and just let go.
People tell me I'm torchuring myself,
when in reality I'm just facing the real world.
Whats happened to me does not define me.
But what I have gone through I know has changed me.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
I have all these hopes and dreams.
I'm scared you won't be apart of them.
Or she will **** up.
Or dad will end up going crazy, once more.
All over a date.
A date that'll remain in my life forever.
A date I wish to let go but know I can never,
because I've learned and I've lost. This day is a day where the chapter is new and the print is bold. Not meak.

You ever get that feeling
When you find out somethings wrong
Its like you're stomach drops to your knees
and you feel like you have to scream
I don't know what its called but
I have the feeling
that's its this thing that people call
sadness
The only sad part about this is that
I've felt like this lately.

Everything is so different without you here.
I miss those
Jumping frog legs.
Random laughing.
Yelling honey Im home just to mess with me.
Having the covers ripped off of  me and you telling me to get my lazy **** up.
Asking you how was work and you saying
same old **** just a different day.
Our long talks.
Our deep conversations.
Yet you are  not home
Its 3:46 in the morning and yet I feel as if time is going too slow
without you here.

I'll be the old lady with a bunch of grand babies.
I'll be the old lady who wants a young man because in all honesty that's how my mother is. Mother like daughter.
I'll be the old lady the younger children spread rumors about.
I'll laugh at em.
I'll be the old lady who becomes senile and yells at the nurse saying where are my cigs?
Theyll probably make me quit.
But when I think about all this ****,
it makes me smile.
Life sounds more exhilarating then it does now.

I've decided to let you go.
To move on from you.
To just forget about you.
I've promised myself to quit thinking about you.
Or even talking about you.
One of the worse feelings is regret.
I'm filled with that because of you.
You made me be a bad person.
By telling me it was okay.
Your a liar.
A manipulator.
I'm glad your gone.
Your not a man.
Your a **** boy.

When I look in the mirror
I see a thing that's not even
there.
The thing is evil
it continually taunts me,
picking and pulling at certain
things.
It controls every thought
about me.
This is this and
that is that
why cant I just be me ?
Evil thing, go away !
If only it was that
easy.

Love is over rated and so complicated.
Why do I bother with it?
Crazy as it is I keep giving it a chance when I know how it'll end.
That's bad on my part.

Step outside and let
the cold breeze
carry you away
with the wind.

You know what I just saw?
It was supposed to be our movie
I remember when we saw the commercial
We instantly looked at each other and said
"That's gonna be our movie"
We couldn't help but smile
Now its out
You're not here
Its making me feel as if I gave up
On our years.
Dear you do you see what I feel?
I'm starting to feel empty
Without you here.

Stuck between
being happy
and being sad.
Not knowing which way to go,
being stuck in the middle,
is the worse feeling of them all.

Daddy goes for walks,
he bring backs rocks.
Names them.
Puts them in a little box,
and keeps them for safe keeping.
Daddy doesn't know
how sad this makes me.
My daddy is crazy.
Daddy's weird.
Daddys this and that.
But I love him.

I can't breathe anymore,
at first I blamed it on the cigs.
I don't think its that anymore.
I miss the sound of your voice in the middle of the night.
Truthfully you made me breathe.
I needed you.
But **** it I'll light another one.
Till I cant take it anymore.

My other half visited me today.
For a while I felt okay.
I wasn't sad or afraid.
My other half gave me hope
When I locked my front door and
walked away.  
I looked back as I drove away.
I wasn't sad. I wasn't glad either.
But I had more hope than I did in the past.
My other half told me something that made me realize
that all of this mess that is happening to me
Is all for great reasons.
Its a chance to start over.
Its a chance to be happy.
Its a chance to save myself from me.
I am no longer afraid of the tomorrows.
I cant wait to face the future now.
I now know that everything is going to end up being okay.

Are you coming?
Will I have to stand here long?
My legs are starting to **** me.
Were are you?
Were can you be?
Come save me,
I'm hanging off the branch
of this tree.
Its about to snap in three.
Come save me from this catastrophe.
My hands are shaking.
God ******!
I knew you wouldn't save me.
Clench your wrist I say.
Clench em!
I'm not letting go of this branch.
Even if it kills me.

Your so beautiful
you shine.
Your so beautiful
I can see your soul,
God your so beautiful
if you only knew.
Your so beautiful
with your green eyes.
I love you.
Your so beautiful
stay with me.
I love the way you walk.
The way you laugh.
Dear God your breaking my heart.
Why do you do this to me?

Behind these eyes
is a long story.
These eyes are getting
weary.
So slowly.
When I look in the mirror I say
"I want the old me".
When I look in my eyes
I can tell that I'm in constant
pain.
I try and try to smile
but when I do I just look in the mirror
and see that
my eyes aren't the way they used to be.

I've grown impatient.
Due to my situation.
I can't sleep.
I have to convince myself to eat.
I cover myself in warrior paint,
in order to face the day.
Smack a fake smile on my face,
and pray no one see behind my mask
I made.

Let's have an adventure,
come down from those clouds boy.
Look me in the eyes.
Love me with all your might.
Let's explore each others souls tonight.
Let me hold your dark heart in my hand and make it pure again.
Make me feel beautiful.
Make me feel young.
Laying in an empty bed at night alone is consuming my mind.
Soothe it with your voice,
my love.

Thinking can cause you to feel
empty if you hold it inside it will feel as if you
are going to explode, from all the pain. If tears
run down your face you will feel less
sadness, and it will help you.