All the warm pleasure shared between us
in moments common
& as you think of me
I wonder of you still
How do you feel now?
What do you wonder of me?
While you must know
or at least intuit
I am lost in my own madness
& worldview
yet still see you as beloved
Perfect in your incompleteness
Aware of the possibilities
of achieving understanding
Easing me through gentle riddles
suffering High School & bad relationships
drunkenness & revelations

I never liked it when you called me Honey.
It dropped each letter and froze my throat shut.
It shallowed my breathing,
cut off my fluttering circulation,
swelled my eyes closed.
It propelled my heartbeat,
calloused my skin,
inverted my fingernails.
My vision bled,
you laughed at this,
and through my head rang your shrill cackles
as giant gongs infesting all sound.
You thought it was silly,
my transformation,
my drunken anger,
when you flashed your canines at me,
you Monster.
Only the most wicked can kindle their hatred into someone else.
Only the most cancerous find humor in other's tears.

You leave the dingy room, 333, and out into the long old halls with ***** honeybee carpet, the stains so worn in they've become part of the design.  The housekeeper's cart is parked at the end of the long hall.  It is filled with cleaning supplies and ***** blankets.  Her body seems younger than it looks somehow as she comes through the doorway of an empty room and smiles through the wrinkles of her sunken, toothless mouth and underneath the well-worn lines of her face & beaming through her bright eyes is an original warmth and beauty that even a thousand years of junk couldn't touch.

We are a subway.
We ride encroaching on our own spaces.
We bundle and fold each other
into outer significant dimensions.
Our arms harden to tree trunks
while our blood begs to flow freely under the elevated pressure,
grounding our Earthly existence.
This track beats on without destination,
regardless of bumps and bulges in the pathways,
our starting point forgotten light years before.

We try sharpening the images melting under this velocity,
and our eyes flicker back and forth attempting to follow these quickening pictures.
But we ride on,
crushed by the pressures of the Earth,
decaying the love we housed in storage,
now rationed up our stabilizing arms,
holding us averagely comfortable in this close proximity.

There comes a moment when you want to write about something so beautiful
That it refuses to be transcribed into ink, and you're stuck with only memory

the smile on your face
laced
by shadows and dusk

they keep you warm
when its cold outside
in a way
protecting you from harm
is it possible
to buy a jacket
for my heart