Little voices
Often said
Useless are
Better dead
Take it now
Feel no pain
See the past
Never again
Run free now
Into the night
Leave for good
No more fright
Little sorrow
Nothing left
Free my mind
That's what
They said
Listen softly
Quiet now
Know no more
Tell me how
Live in peace
Without regret
Days to come
Better yet
Past is past
Whisper free
What's left is now
A better me.

July 3, 2012

Lost in a glen
Dark and dank
When will I return?
My soul is wandering
To a place unknown
What do I need to learn?
The branches of trees
Dig into my flesh
Ripping away my pride
The horrors of the ruined depth
May lead me to my demise
I feel my ego
Becoming twisted and bent
Showing me what I serve
Will there be anything left?
Or am I getting what I deserve?
The winds of hate are cold and worn
As they are blown away from me
My heart feels weak
But suddenly whole
What happened to the pieces in me?
Way down deep
In the core of my soul
I see a tiny light
So small at first I could not see
Because I would not give in to the fight
Years of calluses
Fall from my eyes
And at last I could see
The mirror imagine of my soul
That was never meant to be

December 21, 2016

Demons line the hallway
Filed in one by one
Waiting for their solace
In the setting sun
When the clock strikes midnight
And the angels go to bed
Then it is their playtime
The time to take the dead
The ones who are all alone
And lost to their own pain
Welcome them with open arms
To enter their waiting veins
Take away the anguish
Of life as it has become
Take away my memory
Of a lost and broken home
Take away the fear in me
So I may lay my head
Upon this concrete I call home
And the cardboard of my bed
Let me forget that I once served
This country long ago
Just like they have forgotten me
As soon as I came home
Demons take me now I pray
Give me peace for a time
Quiet the longing of my soul
And the noises in my mind
Give me dreams of a happier place
As you take away my soul
Let me drift away in peace
And let me wake no more

June 11, 2017

I look in the mirror
And all that I see
Is a wrinkled old woman
Staring back at me
Skin sagging in places
That once were firm
My hair turning gray
Each one I have earned
When I look in my eyes
I see happiness and youth
Dancing sparkles of light
The symbol of my truth
For though time has ravaged
My skin and outer frame
The little girl inside me
Had never lost her flame
She dances in the moonlight
Marvels at the world
Shows love to every soul she meets
With open arms unfurled
The laughter in those eyes still glows
And shows the world that sees
That though age has taken my body
It will never take away me

I'm writing this tonight, with such pain in my heart,
There I go.....I think I'm going a little crazy.....
I see you at night, Even as you were here
There I go, I think I've gone a little mad.
I close my eyes and I can hear you breathing...
There I go, I think I'm a little more than sad.

I feel the pieces of you slipping away
And all that was good in me too
I feel like running away, but I don't know where I'd hide
All I want to do, is to be with you.

I can't let anyone know how I feel
For they'd take you way from me for good
I don't think I could lose you forever
Because without you I'm no good.

I can't seem to find the thread
That leads me back to my mind
I'm afraid I may lose it as well
And the result will not be kind

For if I lose the final thread
That leads me back to me
How will I find my way back
If they take you away from me.

There you go, I think I'm just a little more than sad.

I lie awake with silent dreams
A forgotten lovers touch
A story it so often seems
A lost memory to hush
Love songs of another time
Dance upon the wind
Taking me to where they be
A lost memory to lend
A heartbreak and a bleeding tongue
Of words and promises dead
Take me to another time
A lost memory to spend
Another lover waits for me
The broken time does bend
Forgotten is the pain of past
A lost memory to mend.

May 21, 2012

My heart cries out for you today
I feel as if you went away
I see you , though it's not the same
I'm afraid it's the end of the game
I opened my heart a little too much
Let you in where no one had touched
Guess I read the message wrong
And now I feel as if you have gone
I hope it's just my foolish mind
And in your heart soon I will find
My friend as always standing true
Forever always loving you.

August 12, 2012

I lay awake tonight
Thinking of you
Wondering if you are asleep
Or if you are lonely
I miss you, I want to see your face
I want to feel your arms around me
Holding me close
I want to take your pain...
But I know in your pain
You will find the answers you seek
Getting to the other side
Is where you will find your truth
I wonder if your truth
Involves me
I just want you happy
I want you at peace
And if that is without me
That is how it will be
As long as the smile
Returns to your lips
And laughter fills your world
I will be happy, to always be your friend

August 22, 2012

Riding down this old dirt road
Music loud and windows down
Wind blowing through my hair
And wiping away my frown
I turn down the road heading to the lake
The place of my youth and my dreams
Where laughter of long ago
And wonderful memories stream
My childhood was filled with adventure
First boyfriends and kisses in the pines
Camp outs and bonfires, rock pits and games
Yet I felt alone and afraid and confined
I ran from the place where once I was safe
Searching for a way to find peace
Alcohol, drugs and a life filled with shame
Did not the self loathing cease
That was a time as well long ago
With many a story between
The things in my life that have brought me to now
My life I still work to preen
I no longer fight the things of my past
The lessons I've opened and learned
Which brought me back here, the place of my home
With honor and respect now earned
June 2, 2016

Bleeding heart
Wants to die
Soul survived
Never cried
Love betrayed
Life in pain
Broken, torn
All in vain
Loved you most
Gave my heart
Wanted more
A new start
Once again
Heart withdrawn
Hurt and lost
Soon be gone
Wasted time
Wanting you
Broke my heart
Nothing new
Tired and bleeding
Left in pain
Wanting, yearning
Never again.

November 14, 2012

Broken mirrors
Broken glass
Shattered memories
Of a long lost past
Fractured pieces
Of a former life
Bring untold pain
And bitter strife
Mangled spirit
Raging dreams
Fighting hard
To know what it means
Losing sight
Of where I am
Holding on...
If I can
Broken glass
Broken heart
Breaking me down
Tearing me apart
Missing you
Is killing me
Take me Now
I don't want to be
Left alone
Without you here
Is simply more
Than I can bare.
Broken memories
Broken dreams
Life without you
Is worse than it seems.

Pam Penta
June 8, 2015

Broken dreams, lies undone
Ends a fight where no one won
Empty promises left behind
I turn away, but not unkind
A future love there will not be
A lonely life is left for me
Never tomorrow will I run
Away from this or  memories shun
For never will I be alone
In rising moon or setting sun
Another's heart my love will hold
And cry for me, for years untold
Your loss, my gain forever see
A better life waits for me.

June 3,  2012

Can't you hear my screams
Within the whisper of my words?
Or my growing absence
In life and in the world?
Can't you tell I'm dying
By the words I never speak
Or that you never see me
Or do you think I'm weak?
Can't you tell?
My mind is killing me?
He's there in every breath I take
In everything I see
Can't you tell...
Or do you refuse to see?

July 1, 2017

Burned up letters from long ago
Yellowed, stained and worn
Dust covered books with tattered pages
Records of vows that were sworn
Lovely dresses covered in lace
Now faded and weathered with time
Shoes that once matched
Now dusty and covered in grime
Photographs of family
Cracked on the floor
Memories forgotten,
Lost to a time before
Ghosts walk the halls, dragging their chains
Still anchored to this plastic life
Nothing of substance left to show
For this....or the afterlife
Be not chained to this world
By substance or fame
That isn't why you were born
Hold on to your soul
With all that you do
And let it not become worn
By the world around or demons within
They will keep you chained here for good
Open your heart and instead spend your love
Freely as you walk the earth
Then when you move on, you will not be
Chained to your possessions of this world.

April 26, 2016

Take wing my spirit
Take flight my soul
Leave behind your weakness
Stand and be bold
Risk all else
To gain what you seek
For love and regard
Are not for the meek
Step out and expose
Your courageous ways
Quiet your fears
Embrace every day
Amidst grit and brawn
Toward all that you want
Nothing comes easy
In matters of love
I risk it all to know you now
…….my heart, my soul this I vow.
March 10, 2016

Death.
That's what I think of
When I think of you.

Not the physical kind of death.
The kind of death
That takes your soul

I feel bitterness
And hate
When I look in your eyes

A blackness of a spirit lost

I cannot save you
From yourself

No amount of love
Can heal you
Without your help

Nothing I can do.
So I sit and watch you die.

September 26,2016

Forest darkness
Shadowed moon
Lost in sadness
Grief and gloom
Voices ringing
In my head
Do it now!
You are already dead!
Surface crawls
Under my skin
Eating my flesh
Exposing my sin
Behind the door
Demons abound
Wanting to take me
Into the ground
Eyes sown shut
Lips can't scream
My body is melting
Into a dream
This hell in my mind
When will it end?
"Never" it whispers
"You are mine till the end"

When morning comes
I shed a tear
For you are gone
No longer here
You leave when dreams
Fade away
When the dawn
Breaks the day
I walk alone
When awake
Yearning inside
My love you will take
I count the hours
Until darkness falls
When sleep will come
And dreams will call
Back in your arms
Once again
Where I wish to be
Until the end

September 3, 2012

Life is full of ups and downs
Twists and turns
And round and rounds
Tears of joy,
And tears of pain
Laughter and anger
Sun and rain
It's up to us
It is indeed!
To choose our path each day
Embrace the rain
Release the pain
Remember how to play!
It is our life
To sulk or grin
The choice has always been mine
Take each day
As a gift, as it is
And live your life sublime

December 21,2016

Fantasy
Return to me
Take me where
I want to be
Unicorns
Peter Pan
Captain Hook
Never land
Wonderland
Mad Hatter too
Places that
Remind of you
Snow White asleep
By witches trance
Land lost in time
a Piper's Dance
Fairies and
The woodland sprites
Open my dreams
Most every night
I find you there
Inside the wood
With merry men
And Robin Hood
My fantasy world
Where we are free
Together at last
You and me.

July 24, 2012

Follow me to the setting sun
To where life has begun
To the place we will be one

Follow me to the sea of blue
Where spraying dew
Make rainbow hues

Follow me to the mountains high
To touch the sky
And clear our eyes

Follow me to rivers wild
Raging Rapids reconciled
Laughing playing like a child

Follow me throughout this life
And I will you, forever your wife

June 10, 2016

When this life is gone
And I am no longer here
Who will carry on
To help dissipate your fears?
Who will hold you when you hurt
When  your soul needs to be shared
Who will help you know
That I am still here?
I walk with you in your heart
I lay with you in bed
I hold you when you cry
I’m with you till the end
I’ll be there when you cross
On to the other side
Forever with you my love
I’ll walk right by your side
Do not cry when I leave this world
For I’ll always stay with you
How could I leave you all alone
Until your life is through?
For love will last until
Eternity is gone
I’ll forever be with you
Until your day’s are done

March 29, 2016

I want to wake up every morning
With sunshine on my face
Songbirds outside my window
And the warmth of your embrace

I want to walk among the forests
Into the darkness deep
Experience a desert's night
And watch you while you sleep

I want to hike with you up a mountain
And bathe with you in a stream
Make love to you in a meadow
Of daffodils and green

I want to roll with you in a snow bank
And run with you in the rain
See all that we've been missing
And never come back again.

Let's run away together
Run far and wide and free
Do all the things we dream to do
Be all we wish to be.

Leave this world far behind
Taking nothing in our pack
Come run with me, let's run away
Never looking back.

June 30, 2012

As i awake to this new day
The cold and damp outside
I'm thankful for the roof and walls
That from the weather they divide

My aching bones scream at me
But remind me I can feel
I open my eyes to the sun
And roll out of bed to kneel

Thank you Spirit for all that I have
For my sight, my health and my life
Thank you for my family and friends
For the love I have in this life

Thank you for the trials
And the pain as well I've endured
For without the bad as well
I wouldn't recognize the good

For all of this and so much more
I offer thanks today
But live my life in gratitude
To show it every day

November 24, 2016

Heart beats once
And beats twice
Never hateful
Always nice
Hides behind
Memories past
Takes away
Then makes it last
Darkness falls
Inside the room
Nothing shines
Only gloom
Heart beats once
Then fades away
Opens only
To the day
Tries to love
But cannot free
The burning hatred
Inside of me
Heart beats once
Then beats twice
Always  hateful
Never nice.

June 17, 2012

Heart on fire
Body worn
Never certain
Always torn
Want is growing
Desire and fear
Free my senses
Though never clear
Will you, won't you
Never sure
Doubt still lingers
But love is pure
Here forever
Without doubt
Till you decide
If in or out
True to you
Until the end
Whether I be
Lover or friend
Heart on fire
Forever be
Open until
You come for me.

June 21, 2012

The days are beginning to fade to night
Time is running thin
She scrambles trying to save her soul
To rid the sin within.
Tidy up the broken glass
And shards of broken dreams
Gathered together in a box
Now busting at the seams
Smiles no longer cross her face
To beauty she is blind
Barely making day to day
Already lost her mind
The world was cruel to her soul
Mind and body crushed and used
Turned off her humanity
No longer amused
Praying daily for the pain to end
For precious sleep to come
A single blade run across her vein
Will to her life succumb

May 1, 2016

I'm a fallen leaf
Carried by the wind
To places far from my home
Thru my journey
I've been tousled
Torn by the weather and sun
The farther I roam
The more my color fades
And my edges fray
Taking a rest
Then catching a breeze
Trying to find my way
Pieces of me
Start to break away
Changing who I was
Fragile and alone
Broken inside
I finally stop to pause
Home is my roots
That keep me safe
Nurture my heart and soul
If wander I must
I ought always return
To renew and revert to whole

June 12, 2016

I am the wind
Blowing thru your hair
Touching your skin
Carrying your prayer

I am the earth
Under your feet
Guiding you where
You need to be

I am rain
Washing you clean
Growing the trees
And all that you see

I am fire
Burning in your soul
Forging your heart
Making you whole

I am All
I am you, you are me
Together we walk
Through eternity

June 10, 2016

I dream of holding you in my arms
dancing under the moonlight
Falling asleep by your side
I dream of laughing with you
Everyday
And holding each other if we cry
I dream of hiking in the woods
Fishing in a stream
Holding  hands and stealing kisses
I dream of being free
Of living how we choose
Of loving each other till the end
Playing music and singing off key
Building fires in the winter
And keeping each other warm
I dream of a life of joy
Peaceful days
And steamy nights.
I dream of you.  
And what could be.

August 7, 2012

Once again
I’ve jumped the fence
To quickly to let it be
My heart is so lonely
And empty inside
That is all I could see
From the very start
We talked as if
We’d always been friends
But too fast the pace
Too quickly revealed
That this was going to end
I never meant to hurt you
I don’t want to make you cry
But I’m afraid that this is it
And I have to say goodbye
The purpose we
Were brought this way
Was not for love as I’d thought
But to help you see
What is within
Something that can’t be bought
you have the strength
to see it through
and do what needs to be done
make a change
to pursue your dreams
and make them all your own
I cannot travel this way with you
Distance between is too far
But I will watch as you become
A beautiful rising star

April 8, 2016

Body is broken
Bruised and worn
Wrinkles
Beginning to form
Heart has bandages
Holding it in place
Hair is gray
Lines in my face
My love is true
To the very core
Kind and giving
And real
See past the
Outer shell of me
Our love will be unreal.
I may not be in model form
My body isn't my soul
The life inside
Is still ablaze
Ready ...and whole
I'll love you till
The end of time
Take care of you
Push or shove
Just give this
Broken girl a chance
Rest easy
......In my love

April 17, 2016

I see you my brother, my sister in pain
your eyes diverted from the croud
hiding your face from the bane

I see the fear in your eyes, from pain of long ago
see your avoidance of all that is real
trying to wash it way, or soften its blow

I see your cries for help, the struggle of your soul
I see it in the way you walk
staying far from the fold

I see the haunting of your mind, the darkness that you fight
the circle under your eyes
from not sleeping at night

The needle marks on your arms, trying to **** the demons inside
the way you hang your head in shame
not looking the world in the eye

I see you my brother, my sister it's true
for there once was a time
I was just like you.

December 29, 2019

To all my friends
Both near and far
Lifelong friends
And friends of the heart
I wish you joy
Laughter and love
Peace and forgiveness
Like that of above
May the New Year bring you
Comfort and light
May you become
All that you might
Let go of pain
Sadness and scorn
Start each day
As you are reborn
With a grateful heart
And giving soul
You will be blessed
Greater than gold
Lend a hand
To those in need
Comfort the sick
Work with glee
Spread your light
To those who have none
And your New Year will be filled
With nothing but love.

December 24, 2015
Pamela Penta

It's been a year.
A soul wrenching
Heart ripping year
I find myself at times
Wishing
You were still part of this earth
Yet.
To have you here
In the pain you were in,
Not knowing what you were worth
Would be selfish,
And more painful for you
Than this.
I know you are free
And send signs you are here
With me.
When I cry
I can feel you hug me tight
And whisper to me
Mom, it will be alright
Then a feather you leave
Right by my feet
Where I sit on the porch
To feel you with me
I know you had
your own journey
Your own plan
But to know the pain
You were living in,
And peace you could not attain
Is what I grieve
the most these days.
To know your child
Was so lost that he died
Is more than I can bear
Please forgive me
For not seeing thru
To your agony and despair
I know I couldn't fix you
I know I did my best
But the mother in me
Doesn't believe the rest
I wanted to save you
From yourself
I wanted you...
To want to, too.
I pray in the next life
Your journey is calm
Your soul is free
And as peaceful as a psalm
So journey on
My beautiful son
I'll love you
Until the last setting sun❤️

July 12, 2016

Time again to fly away
To distant land of dreams
To live the life of fantasy
Nothing is as it seems
A distant lover waits for me
To dance among the stars
Anywhere we wish to be
Is never very far
Where rainbows turn to waterfalls
And unicorns to bees
And all we wish will always be
In the land of dreams....

Pam Penta
June 18, 2012