Staring at the ceiling
Wishing sleep would come
Can't keep my mind from wondering
What has happened to our home?
The words that come from you
Are angry and full of hate
What happened to saying you love me
Being my partner and my mate?
The more pain you are in
The more problems that arise
The more you shut me out
And turn away from my eyes
I don't know how to reach you
You bury yourself inside
Shutting out the world around
You run away and hide
We all are damaged to some degree
Some to the core of our souls
It is your choice to set it free
Or let it take control
If you do not fight to truly live
Even in the midst of pain
You will lose your soul completely
And never get it back again
Let go of the things you cannot change
Take care of the things you can
Appreciate all God has given you
Take comfort in His hands

August 25, 2016

I see the pain inside you,  and there is nothing I can do
I know I'm part of what hurts your heart
But I can't give relief to you
You need to search inside yourself
And find a way to fight
A way to put the past in the past
And leave it there for life
You must unchain yourself
From the pain of your past
If you are ever to live free
Fight your way
Back to the place
That you truly want to be
You have the strength within you
To take the first step to heal
To reach out your hand and ask for help
Tell God how you feel
Know my child you are but human
And mistakes are a part of you
Leave them behind you and move ahead
Start your life anew
The pain of your past cannot hurt you
If you leave it where it belongs
Take the step and move ahead
Upward, and onward.  Be strong.


February 8, 2015

Shining down
Shining bright
Shining on me
Through the night
Watching, waiting
Holding me near
Keeping me safe
From all that I fear
Guarding the night
From evil and fray
Helping prepare me
For another day
Light of Love
Keep me safe
Clean my heart
Of any hate
For your love
Is all I desire
To show to the world
In lesson or fire
Shining Love
Shining Bright
Keep me safe
All through the night

11/21/15

Little voices
Often said
Useless are
Better dead
Take it now
Feel no pain
See the past
Never again
Run free now
Into the night
Leave for good
No more fright
Little sorrow
Nothing left
Free my mind
That's what
They said
Listen softly
Quiet now
Know no more
Tell me how
Live in peace
Without regret
Days to come
Better yet
Past is past
Whisper free
What's left is now
A better me.

July 3, 2012

Live your life.
Don't ever let anyone tell you
You can't.
You're not good enough.
You shouldn't.
Do what you LOVE!
Do what makes you HAPPY!
Chase your DREAMS!!
This is YOUR life.
Not your parents, your teachers,
Your friends!
YOURS!
Don't follow because it is easier
DARE to BE!
FEEL every moment.
EMBRACE every experience.
LOVE with your whole being.
Be HAPPY!
Follow your BLISS!
Life is short.
Don't die saying I wish I had,
Be able to say
I'm glad I DID!!
Be with the person who
Brings your JOY!
Who enhances your life!
Who will run beside you
Laugh with you
Sing and dance with you!!
Have no regrets.

Never be afraid to be YOU.

June23, 2012

I'm lost in a world of my own design
Withered and ravaged with pain

Locked inside my own mind
Soiled and torn..and stained

Unable to breathe, unable to cope
In a place I was born too late

Afraid of what may happen to me
Of what will be my fate

Memories tear away at my soul
Like claws of a demons hand

The little child inside of me
Withers away like sand

Into myself deeper I crawl
Hiding my eyes to the truth

The little child inside of me
Was taken in my youth

The tattered shreds that once were her
Are tear stained, ***** and gray

There is no hope of finding her
She was victim to the prey

Inside the prison walls of my soul
I throw away the key

For when they tore away the child
They destroyed me

June 17, 2017

There once was a time
I was broken in two
Lost and all alone
Not able to cope
Unable to find
The place that I called home
With a pill or a smoke
I would hide away
From the world and from life
Running away
From all that was good
Living in pain and strife
Lost my way
Ran from God
And all that was good and pure
Taking a hit
To make it ok
But always leaving me unsure
I chased the high
It was all that I knew
To take away the pain
Never amounting to much
Never wanting to be
Anything but vain
Then one day
A bottom I hit
So hard I thought I would die
Instead what I found
Was a willingness then
To maybe learn how to fly
Opened my heart
To the love of a God
And that of my family and friends
Suddenly,  I found the hope
Learned how to make amends
My life began to turn around
No longer in a bottle or pipe
Taking steps to learn to live
And not get caught up in the hype
Leaving a life of destruction and pain
Embracing my life once again
Learning to live One Day at a Time
Breaking away the chains
That bind my soul
To the darkness within
Opening my heart to love
Giving me willingness
To try to be
All I was meant to …in love.

April 5, 2016

A word, a smile
A fleeting  glimpse
A hug, a laugh
A heart that limps
My shattered soul
Is left again
To find my heart
My strength within
Not giving up
Not backing down
Walking thru life
Without a frown
Head held high
Trudging on
Looking ahead
To find my dawn
A shining light
Within your smile
Has made my life
More worthwhile
You reached inside
And found my heart
Promising me
A brand new start
You took the pieces
Of my broken soul
Loved me gently
Until I was whole
Laughter and love
Will now lighten our days
The love that we have
Will last…..always.

April 11, 2016

A hollow space inside me bleeds
And begs me for relief
A shudder through my aching heart
That rarely skips a beat
Then the voices in my head
Cackle, crawl and creep
Waiting for the time to be
To take me in my sleep
Veins still pump and eyes still cry
Though never at my will
Rather death come quietly
And that my heart were still
Quiet me, the hurt inside
Has waged on long enough
Burdened soul of hallowed mind
A spirit born of rust
Shadowed in the waking dawn
The demons take their leave
Resting, waiting, patiently
For my soul to thieve.

November 13, 2017

I wish I could reach inside you
Let us become one
So you could see, feel, taste
All that I am
I want you to see what I see
When I look into your soul
Feel the way my heart skips a beat
Every time I hear your voice
I want you to taste
The essence of who you are to me
Maybe then....
You would understand the depth
Of the love I have for you
And all that goes with saying that.
The respect, the awe of
knowing someone like you.
Of the joy I feel when you
make me laugh...or cry
by the words you say to me.
Of the pictures you paint
in the caverns of my mind.
And you love me!
All of me. 
What a gift you are.
A blessing beyond belief
Now my life is complete.
I love you.

March 26, 2016

I keep most of it inside
This utter darkness I fight each day
The tortured demons I hold at bay
Knowing one day they will escape
Their feathered claws
Rip at my soul...try to destroy my heart
Crawl into my mind and speak
Of memories torn and bleak
And take me back to the start.
The little child, who's innocence was torn
When her mind became twisted and bent
On stories of love, but actions without consent
The darkness creeps in, with images of
The moment it all took place.
And the broken child inside of me,
Runs to hide her face.
Then the pain, in reaping waves
As the memory of abuse is found
The tortured demons laugh at me
As they toss the memory around
Fists of fury swing at me
From every direction and space
Bruises form and streams of blood
covering my face
I see the demons' eyes, filled with fire and rage
Switch to the face of my abuser
As each punch lands in its place.
I try to push it all away
To bring back in some light
The demon whispers in my ear
"My dear, we own the night.
No relief will come to you...
Until the sun does rise.
Until then, my dear, I own your mind.
So sit back, and enjoy the ride ".

September 17, 2018

I refuse to let go
Of the withering vines
That keep me a float
Their branches seem to be
All that is keeping me
From drowning
In a world where we have lost hope
Corporate monsters robbing us blind
Jokesters running our lives
Hoping we follow the rest of the flock
Quietly moving to our demise
We struggle to win
Lay down and die a little every day
Taking away our self respect
Our families and our ways
The world is broken
Our souls and spirits are
Eaten with a cancer we cannot see
Why can’t we leave each other alone
And let us live in peace?
Everyone has a right to fight
For the things that they believe
So why can’t we let it go
Instead of leaving the world to grieve
For the brothers and the sisters lost
Because of fighting those
We do not agree
Let us learn to live in peace
To you I beg this plea.

April 13, 2016

Twinkling starlight
In the night
Carry my words
To the morning light
Keep me humble
In all I do
Remembering always
My debt to you
Teach me love
That never parts
Teach me to stay
True to my heart
Show me the way
Of kindness and truth
Gratitude and faith
The ways of my youth
Open my mind
My heart and my soul
Teach me to pray
Return me to whole
That when the day comes
I find my one love
I will be ready to give him
My love from above

April 26, 2016

I close my eyes and listen
To the soft sound of your voice as
You weave a new tale for me to hear
I see the pictures evolve before my eyes
As characters begin to appear
You take me by the heart
To places we dream to be
Painting our lives with your words
Endearing you more to me
Other men may have touched my skin
You....have touched my soul
Opening my mind again to believe
Life can once again be whole.
Dreams are made to live
Love is made to be shared
Tired of fighting against my grain
Searching for the one who cares
In the moment I ceased the fight
Heart and soul sprang forth
Then what does God hand to me
But you...my one true north.

March 6, 2016

All the stars up in the heavens
All the beauty of the sea
All the glory of the mountains
This I wish for thee

All the wonder of creation
All your dreams to come true
All the love within the world
This I wish for you

All the happiness and laughter
Peace without an end
All the joys of life forever
I wish this for you, my friend.

March 8, 2012

Shadows falling
in the night
Trying to find
what is right
Searching, flailing,
falling, fight
Finding the way,
without flight
Standing still,
do not run
Await the magic,
the setting sun
Will try to guide
your soul to fun
Not the way
of the knife or gun
Let go of anger
Pain and woes
Let go of fighting
Against your foes
Open soul
to love and light
Lay down the gun,
give up the fight
Leave things alone
that hurt your soul
Don’t look back
When you let go
Onward, upward
Pushing on
Finally becoming
No longer withdrawn
Opening up
To the world
Letting your heart
And love unfurl
Treasure each moment
Of life given you
Never give up
Love will shine through.

March 23, 2016

My words have left me
Have nothing more to say
They fall upon deaf ears
As the pages start to fray

We preach the religions
Condemn the weak
We do not practice
the words We speak.

No one is listening
To their truth within
Instead pointing fingers
To bring out your sin

My words have left me
For ones I once loved
Are lost to their darkness
Instead of rising above

Remember the truth
Before it's too late
Create a heart of love
Instead of one of hate

Find your truth
Go against the world
And a life unimaginable
Will then unfurl.

April 30, 2019

Where are we?
On this tiny planet
In a million galaxies
With no end to it?

What are we?
Spirit or flesh
A corporate mongrel
Or a fledgling in a crèche

What is our purpose?
Why do we live?
To take all we can?
Or be of service and give?

What do we serve?
In this life given us?
The almighty dollar
Or something greater than us?

What will they remember
When your name is spoken of?
A bitter, broken heart
Or a soul full of love?

Is is important?
What does it mean?
This life we are given
May Not be what it seems


June 23,2016

A fleeting thought will never fail
To open up my mind
And bring me to a thinking place
Or leave me utterly blind
Coursing blood through my veins
And light within my soul
Will keep me trudging forward while
Replenishing the fold
Your words have not escaped me
Though your intent I'm sure is real
I have a hard time placing
A name to what I feel
Alone too long, maybe perhaps
And missing love and touch
Is asking that it be refreshed
Really all too much?
My soul is waiting openly
For a promise or a prayer
Here is hoping that I will not fail
And one day love will fare
Do not look behind, my mind doth say
You do not live in that past
Leave it there behind you
Or what you find won't last

February 19, 2016

Pull the curtains over me
Wrap me in darkness
Throw me in the bottom of the pit
And leave me there to die
No longer can I breathe the air
Or drink the water here
We have destroyed our Mother Earth
No more birds left to fly
Bees are gone from flower beds
Our food is tainted by man
Plastic fills the ground below
Nature can't comply
Take away my concrete home
The metal car I drive
Give me back the forests green
The crystal clear blue sky
Bomb the factories that eat our air
And make our plastic food
Go back to living from the earth
Self destruction we defy
Take our world back before it's gone
Before we destroy her soul
Unwrap the curtains of her death
And bring her life a new.

May 27, 2016

Tell me about your heart.
Tell me about your struggles, your pain.
How you dug yourself out of hell
and overcame through the greatest odds.
Show me your love,
your compassion, your kindness.
Show me by deed, love for your fellow man.
A meal for a neighbor, or a man on the corner.
A coat for a stranger in the cold.
A warm bed for a friend who has none.
Bleed with me over the injustices in this world.
Your passion over wrong,
and your fight for what is right.
Show me your soul, and I will be yours for life.

Yesterday was lonely
Full of empty dreams and space
Not knowing where my life was going
If I’d ever leave this place
I moved along thru each day
A zombie without a clue
Barely noticing the world around
Barely making it thru
There was no color to my world
No purpose… or plan
Nothing to motivate my life
No energy…..no I can
Then one day quite by fate
I met you in a room
Gently, softly, quietly at first
You pulled me from my tomb
Opened up my heart to grace
Took me by the hand
Spoke romantic words to me
Helped me out of the sand
That was holding back from moving on
Keeping me stuck in life
Guiding me safely to a place
Of wonderment and rife
Now we walk hand in hand
To the wonderment of our dreams
Moving forward step by step
Together as a team
Our future holds promise now
Faith will bring us there
To the place we dream about
where our love will always fare
You are my love….my dream come true
My future now holds no fear
Walking by you side by side
Our course has now been cleared

March 31, 2016

My body and soul ache
And long for the touch of another
Skin hungry...I've heard it called
Does our spirit start to die
When we no longer love?
Or is it just stalled?
I need to be awakened
To be alive again
To share my love with you
For if I don't, I'm afraid that I
May wither away, shrivel and die
And lose all that is new
I'm afraid that we  will never meet
That the love in me will starve
Never knowing your touch
Why are souls that long to be
Placed so far apart?
Is wanting you in my life asking too much?

March 25, 2018

Like a newly planted seed,
So begins our love
We struggle to find our way
In this new life we've begun
Learning how to allow
For the other to breathe and be
To include them in decisions
And not have the urge to flee
Being alone is what we've known
Many years for us
Letting another into your life
Is hard, but it has a plus
We know that these are growing pains
Our relationship will survive
We'll find our groove, settle in
And our love will begin to thrive
Never think I'm leaving my love
I have chosen you for life
Do not doubt my devotion and love
Thru pain, joy, happiness or strife
Just ride the wave thru this awkward time
As we find our place in this new life

Love you always❤️
July 11, 2016

Mirror cuts like a razors knife
Brings the blood that takes a life
Dulls the anguish
Relieves the pain...
Maybe I will be reborn again

Into a life
Of love and peace
One from which
I won't beg release
One with a home
And family that's whole
One that is safe...
Where I know I am loved


Until then
I'll lay here and bleed
Be careful your choices
And what you do weave
Your soul is fragile
And one day will leave
What will be left
The day you succeed?

Sept 28, 2016

My soul is naked, open to you
More open than I’ve ever been
Can I trust you not to break
My heart that’s buried within?
Do you feel the way I feel
Do you wish the same
As the future I seek for us
Or is it just a game?
I want to hold you in my arms
To know that you are real
Seems that time will never come
To show you how I feel
I’m trying to be patient
Though it’s wearing very thin
I’ve waited all my life for you
When will the waiting end?
All the stars lined up just right
For us to finally meet
I swear that I will wait for you
Never admitting defeat
I’ll sit here waiting…impatiently
For that day to come
When we can be together at last
When our souls unite as one
Forever then I’ll hold you near
Never letting go
Showing you each day that comes
The greatest love you’ve ever known.
March 23, 2016

Green new leaves and tiny buds
Flowers starting to bloom
Mother Nature waking up
Decorating her home
Birds singing in their nests
As the young begin to birth
Showers fall and sunlight shines
To bathe and warm the earth
New life waking all around
A new beginning is formed
Awaken your soul to life again
Open and be transformed
Embrace the day and seize your bliss
No one can claim it but you
Let your heart be free at last
Restart your life anew
Spread your wings like a butterfly
Open your heart like a bloom
Share your soul like the stormy cloud
Break free of the winters tomb
You can begin from wherever you choose
You don't have to live in pain
Allow yourself the privilege of life
And never look back again

May 6, 2016

Look at the world through the eyes of a child
As if everything you see is new
Take wonder in the rising sun
In the grass covered with dew
Watch the morning birds
Waking up and taking flight
Finding food for their young
Who are hungry from the night
Watch the flowers reaching up
To catch the morning sun
Take rejoice in your life
A new day has begun!!
Watch the world around
As you go thru each day
Smile at a stranger
Help someone along the way
Be grateful for each breath you take
Give someone a helping hand
Smell the roses along your way
Feel your toes in the sand
Experience all that is around you
Don't live with blinders on
Let go of all that is burdening you
And in the end, you'll have won

September 2, 2016

Soul is burning
Heart on fire
My wings
Have finally unfurled
Eyes are open
My heart is too
To take on this world
No holding back
No running away
Step off the edge
Fly from the sway
Freedom awaits
From the cage
I've been in
Today is my day
And I'm going to WIN!

April 17, 2016

My heart is breaking
Scattering in a million pieces
Taking bits of my soul as it goes
There is nothing left
No fight, no reason
To go on
It's been broken so many times
Nothing but dust remains
I've lost all hope
All memory of who I was meant to be
I'm so tired, I want to rest
Close my eyes
and be reborn to my next life
This one is nothing but pain
I can't survive any more
And I've begged for relief
For too long

March 14, 2017

Into the darkness I have gone
To find that place the one called home
Through the anger, doubt and fear
I tore down walls that brought me near
On cliffs of death and walls of grief
I struggled on to find my peace
For truth be told it's all within
For ones true self is the true friend
And hiding behind the empty space
Is who you are through Gods own Grace
And fighting through to find yourself
Is where freedom lies and happiness dwells
Giving up is not a choice
Let the world see you and hear your voice
You are not meant to live in chains
Find yourself, release the pain
Break down the walls that hide your soul
Let out your truth and then you'll know
All you ever wished from life
Was always there, right inside
For you yourself have the power to be
To unlock the chains and set yourself free.

March 16, 2013
Pam Penta

I know I have no right to you
I can't even ask you to consider me.
I wait in silence, knowing you have decisions to make,
but not wanting to influence them.  
Those decisions have to be yours.  
It is hard being silent.
I want to tell you how I feel.
I want to show you the kind of life you could have.
I want you to be happy.
I want you to experience love.
A true pure love.
An unselfish love,
that wants nothing except to share life with you.
I want to show you that everything you ever thought it could be...can.  
I want so bad to give that to you.
I know in a way it is a little selfish.
Because I know in giving it to you, it will also give to me.
I have it in me.
I have tried to give it away before, yet no one would take it.
No one would embrace it, like I know you would.
But I must wait.
And if you never decide to take the risk, then I will remain as I am.
A friend, always a friend....who will hold you in her heart for eternity.

August 5, 2012

I invite you in...
To the silent places of my heart
To the pieces that are frayed and broken
Stitched together with lies and forgotten promises....
The places where secrets lie...
Tread lightly, as you enter here
For I've never allowed someone so close
To the darkness that lies beneath...
To the shadows of the sickness...
In my soul.
Careful as you touch the tender parts of my past....
Where the pain and suffering began
There is still a little girl in there, who needs some love and care
Don't turn away when the darkness grows deep
And depression rears its head...
It's just a demon I've learned to control,
I won't allow it to win.
If you've made it thru this far...
The prize is deep within
A heart that is strong, and full of life
And love for you waiting there.
The package comes as a whole
You must accept all of me
Help me through my darkness nights
Keep me safe
Love me raw, and let me weep
Carry me through until the day
you need me to carry you.

October 21, 2017

When we have lost our heart
When we judge what we do not know
Show no gratitude for life

Our soul slowly dies

When we look at our neighbor in hate
Because they are a different shade
We move away a little more

From our Fathers eyes

The world is lost, blinded by hate
Forgotten our purpose
Forgotten our fate

Living a life of lies

Money and greed, I want what is mine
Instead of feeding the hungry
Helping the blind

Becoming all you despise

On your deathbed you
Scream "God save my soul"
He says in return

I know you no more

You didn't live the love
You claimed in church
Instead you looked down

From high on your perch

Jesus taught you the way
Yet you twist it to serve
Your greed and your hunger

For things of this world

A deathbed confession
Won't save your soul
When you gave it to man

And by my children you strolled

The homeless, the naked
The thirsty, the weak
I put them in front of you

But you called them all freaks

You judged their condition
Instead of lending a hand
Turning your eye

To the suffering at hand

Your riches are grand
Your possessions, many
You wallowed in greed

Had more than plenty

What did you give
To end the suffering of one?
Be careful how you live

Before your life is done

January 29, 2019

No one listens to another's pain
The subtle ways it shows
A tear in an eye of a smiling face
True happiness, never shows

A glance away, when you mention a name
Hand to the heart, at a song
A heavy sadness follows them
Forever, trying to be strong

We don't pay attention, to the look in the eye
When a memory crosses their mind
That rips out their soul, and tortures them
To their suffering,  we are blind

Never judge another's path
You do not know what they do
What it takes, every day
To try to be normal like you

Pam Penta
7/16/19

The color has been stripped from the world
In shades of black and gray
I watch the world move away.
Screams of hatred fill the space
As others move out of line, or slow down the race.
"You are unworthy, to eat, to drink, to live!"  
"You are everything I am not, how dare you ask me to give!"
The rich get richer, as the poor die away.
Money and greed are now the way
Doors locked at night, with secrets behind
People walk past, as if they are blind
Streets lined with homeless, most veterans of war
"Don't ask me for help, or knock on my door!"
Children are hurt, some left to die.
Emotions are rare, not many cry.
Or hurt for those who don't have enough
Or don't have it in them to always be tough.
We look down on them as burdens, not fair
Instead of lending a hand, learning to share
The values we preach, are seldom carried through
We have forgotten we are one. You are I, and I am you.

Take care of each other.

September 2, 2018
Pamela Penta

You are tearing out my soul
A piece of flesh at a time
Devouring who I am

At times I feel your teeth scrape the bone

The black bitterness oozes
From your mouth and eyes
As it feeds on the happiness

That once was mine

Each day it grows with my demise
This viciousness that owns your heart
And is taking over your mind

Tearing us apart

I will not let you take my soul
Or turn me into you
If you choose to live in death

Then you and I are through

September 8, 2016

Our world is crumbling
Falling apart
Losing its will to live
People having disregard
Lost respect
And forgetting how to give
Oceans laced with
Bottles and trash
Forests and playgrounds too
The world walks by
With blinders on
Never smiling too
We’ve lost our hope
We’ve lost our love
We are fighting just to survive
Trying to find a glimpse
of what it used to mean -
to be alive
we’ve forgotten our souls
our reasons to live
we hide behind our masks
pushing away the world around
focusing on our tasks
Forgetting all who are in need
Turning a blind eye
Selfishly hoarding all we can
Until the day we die
You cannot take it with you
Your treasures turn to rust
Or end up in a trash pile
And your memories turn to dust
You leave behind no legacy
Of good and kindness and love
Of lending out a helping hand
In life you fell short of
Remembering why
We were given this life
It isn’t about your things
The question that will be asked of you
Is what did you do for Me?
How did you help another
When their confidence was down?
How did you help bring light
To a person with a frown?
How did you clothe the naked?
Or feed the hungry, and hurt?
How did you show My love
To those who were out of work?
Or did you spend your life
In anger
Blaming the world for your fate
Spreading sickness, telling lies
Burying your soul in hate?
It is your choice
On how you live
And what you wish to leave
How will you be remembered my friend
What kind of life will you weave?

April 5, 2016

I lie awake thinking, wondering
where I'm meant to be
Should I stay where I am?
Or leave and do what I want?
I feel so lost here now. Alone.
More alone than I've ever been.
More lost in every way.
I don't want to go back where I was.
It was strangling me. I could no longer breathe.
I had forgotten who I was, or why I was there.
I feel like time is running out
Like I may disappear
That the chances I thought were coming
Will never make it here.
My life has been long
In just a few short years
And I'm tired of fighting the fight
I want to live in a place of peace
For the rest of my life.
A quiet mountain, a horse in the field
A couple of dogs and a goat.
A place to grow my food.
Get up every morning and watch the sun rise over the mountain,
And watch it set over another.
No neighbors for miles, but close to a town.
Quiet. Peaceful. Free.

November 23, 2014

For years I have searched for you
The other half of my soul
Wandering in and out of lives
Trying my best to be whole
Nothing ever felt quite right
Before long the pieces would fail
Take me back to being alone
Back to my own living hell
I fought my way back to myself
And vowed to always be alone
Protecting my heart from being hurt
Yet always feeling undone
I ran across you quite by fate
I remembered your heart from ago
Back to a time before we we were born
When we were of one soul
The very moment you held me close
I knew I had found my way home
Back to the arms of my other half
Back to the place I belong

May 1, 2016