Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Chameleon Dec 2024
One time someone
handed me a book called,
How to stop worrying
and start living.
And I laughed out loud.
They looked confused
and said,
I thought it might
be helpful.
Chameleon Dec 2024
I’ve built this belief
that nothing is
permanent.
No person, place
or thing will stay
forever..
Nothing is in
my control
so I feel out of control.
But I’m already expecting
him to leave, to stop,
to change
when he hasn’t.
The second I walk out
his door,
I feel worried
and he feels good.
I want to believe him
but instead I fear him.
Chameleon Dec 2024
He told me he feels
comfortable singing
around me,
and that he never
really has with anyone
else before
Chameleon Dec 2024
Even though it was noon
I tiptoed back to the bed
we made a mess of last night
and laid in my spot,
pressing my body against his.
He put his arm around me
and his hand under my leg.
As he snored into my back
I thought about how I
want to tell him
I love him.
I’m really in love with him.
Chameleon Nov 2024
He asks me to buy him
cigarettes and drop them
off in the morning
before work,
so he can kiss me
before the day starts.
Chameleon Nov 2024
Everyone has some one
to come home to.
The house is warm
and full of the sounds
of life when they
walk through the door.
Some one to kiss
and ask how was your day.
Some one to listen
whether it was good or bad.
Some one to discuss
dinner plans and then eat with,
snuggle up on the couch
and watch tv.
Maybe they have a cute baby
that gives purpose to
working 40+ hours a week,
a family to support,
and be supported by.

Tonight I drove home
in freezing rain,
and unlocked the door
to a quiet, cold house.
I forgot to grab salt for
the water softener again
because I don’t have
anyone to remind me.
Even the cat who lives here
doesn’t care about my
existence.
I sat in silence
on my bed for almost
an hour,
paralyzed in thought,
not knowing what to do
because nothing sounds good.
I turned on the ps5
and played Skyrim
for a total of 5 minutes
before turning it back off.
And I gave up on
listening to a podcast
soon after.
I thought about calling
a friend but there’s no one
to call.
I’m dying here I think.
Painfully slow,
but dying all the same.

I wonder if loneliness
could actually **** a person.
Chameleon Nov 2024
Get high before work,
hit penjamin and
cough,
smoke filling my car.
This isn’t a good idea
because **** makes me
forgetful
but **** it.
I realize that the louder
I set the music
the better I feel
so I’m treating this
cruise like it’s 8 hours later.

I’ve been feeling uncool,
unhappy and unlike
myself for the last few
months.
I think all I want for
Christmas this year,
is me.
Next page